The Smole: May 2023

Welcome to yet another season of the Smole! For those who are new to the Smole, the Smole is a reality game show where contestants take part in challenges (called "missions") to earn points for a "pot". Each point is worth 1000 Simoleons that one of them can walk away with at the end of the season. The remainder goes to the "Mole", a saboteur who tries to keep the pot low while evading detection by the others. The contestants must take quizzes to test their knowledge of the Mole, with the lowest scorer (or slowest in the event of a tie) being eliminated (or "executed"). This continues until 3 are left.

As with almost every season, this season has a twist. Season 56 introduces more bonus missions to pay homage to the reality/game show scene. In these bonus missions, some contestants must be sent to participate and earn bonus points.

With that out of the way, it's time to introduce our contestants!

First up, we have Sonya Maddox, a 26-year-old cashier!

Next up is her brother Jesse Maddox, a 21-year-old warehouse assistant!

The third contestant is Mason Montgomery, a 40-year-old mall manager!

The next contestant is Una Phobe, an unemployed 32-year-old!

The fifth contestant is Rhea Durkin, a 19-year-old who is also unemployed!

After her, we have Sarah Ambile, a 40-year-old preschool teacher!

We also have Raymond Way, a 35-year-old laundromat attendant!

We still have more contestants! Next is Gordon Emery, 28-year-old self-employed crypto investor!

Almost there! Our next contestant is Olli Kalle Laitinen, a 30-year-old gymnast!

Last but not least, we have Jenny Undertover, 44-year-old funeral director!

Which one of them is the Mole this season? Stay till the end to find out!

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The contestants' first mission is both physical and mental and can net them 200 points. They have to put on VR goggles where they will be chased by a beast.

And if they're being chased, they have to run, right? So they'll be running on treadmills at the same time. Throughout the journey, the contestants have to answer trivia questions. Each correct answer adds 1 kilometre distance between the one who answered and the beast. Each contestant that makes it to the end point before the beast catches up to them earns 20 points.

Rhea: "I didn't come to this game for a fucking run."

Sarah: "Where's the trivia?"

Jesse: "I think we gotta keep on running first. Let's not get caught by the beast; pick up the pace!"

Una: "There's my first question. What is the world's largest ocean? I think that's the Pacific."

Jesse: "This is a breeze, eh sis?"

Sonya: "i guess years of cross-country pays off."

Jesse: "How are you keeping up pal?"

Gordon: "This is a breeze, duh. I could go on forever."

Gordon: "Oof!"

Sonya: "What happened? Did you fall?"

Gordon: "I can't see where I'm going! It's not my fault."

Sonya: "You can always grab onto the bars."

Gordon: "Pfft, I'm no amateur."

Sarah: "Claustrophobia is the fear of enclosed spaces. Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders. What is cynophobia? I'm not sure...the colour blue? Oh that's incorrect."

Rhea: "Urkk!"

Rhea: "I...I can't do this...any more...I quit."

Rhea has quit and has thus been caught by the beast.

Raymond: "Name a Finnish president? How would I know? I'm not from Finland."

Sonya: "Does anyone know who Barbie's little sister is?"

Jesse: "She has a sister?"

Sarah: "Skipper."

Sarah: "I work at a preschool."

Sonya: "Okay. I'll go with Skipper. You're right!"

Sarah: "No! I'm caught."

Sarah: "I couldn't run fast enough or answer enough questions correctly."

Sarah has been caught by the beast and is eliminated.

Rhea: "I'm not surprised Sarah was quickly caught. Once I got off I could clearly see what everyone was doing and she was strolling."

Gordon: "What is Prince Harry's official first name? Isn't it Harry? Fuck."

Mason: "Shit. It's a question I don't know...and the beast is catching up...do any of you know what is illegal to eat with a fork in Georgia?"

Jenny: "The state or the country?"

Mason: "The state!"

Jenny: "Fried chicken!"

Mason: "Fried chicken...phew..."

Mason: "Now that I think about it, it's weird that Jenny knew about such an obscure question."

Olli: "Which planet is the hottest? Mars."

Raymond: "Does anyone know which state Boston is in?"

Jesse: "Texas."

Sonya: "No it's Massachusetts."

Jesse: "Oh I thought he said Austin."

Sonya: "Almost there...yes! I made it."

Gordon: "Already?"

Una: "What colours are the flag of Finland? Hey, does anybody know...oh what's the point? Nobody will know. Aaand I'm caught."

Sonya is the first to reach the (virtual) endpoint. Meanwhile, Una has been caught by the beast and is eliminated.

Jesse: "We kept getting questions on Finland, presumably because we're in Finland this season. It turns out that we have a resident Finnish resident with us."

Olli: "Land of the midnight sun. That's Finland of course."

Raymond: "You know about Finland?"

Olli: "Yes. I am from Finland."

Raymond: "Oh! What perfect timing. When is Finland's Independence Day?"

Olli: "December 6."

Raymond: "December 6. Aah!"

Jesse: "What? Did someone get caught?"

Raymond: "No I'm good! I just slipped. Luckily Olli helped me with the question so I still am quite far from the beast."

Gordon: "Hey bro, do you know what August's birthstone is?"

Jesse: "Nope."

Gordon: "Damn. I have to guess this one...gold. Damn."

Jesse: "Which horror author penned the post-apocalytpic novel 'The Stand'? Does anyone know?"

Raymond: "That's Stephen Ki...Stephen King!"

Jesse: "Thanks pal!"

Raymond: "Where in Finland is Santa Claus's village located in?"

Olli: "Rovaniemi."

Jenny: "What is measured in Mickeys?"

Raymond: "Com...computer mouse...speed!"

Mason: "The...Red Devils is Belgium's men's soc...soccer team...the Red Lions...is Belgium's men's...hockey team...What is...the name of Bel...Belgium's men's....basketball...team? Red...Bears? Shit. I'm...I'm...out."

Mason has been caught by the beast and is eliminated.

Jesse: "He's catching up! I need to speed up. Oh, this is a different kind of question. Who attends funerals on at least a monthly basis? Rhea? Mason? Def not Sonya."

Jenny: "That's me. I'm a funeral director."

Gordon: "Which two contestants have hitchhiked across a country?"

Jesse: "That's me and Sonya!"

Gordon: "Why?"

Jesse: "It's a long story. I'll tell you another time."

Raymond: "Who has taken part in the Olympics?"

Olli: "Me. Olli."

Jesse: "Yes! I made it to the end!"

Sonya: "Good job Jesse."

Jesse: "Thanks sis. You did great too. You were the first to finish."

Olli: "I'm caught."

Sarah: "It's so strange he got caught. I thought he could outrun the beast."

Jesse has made it to the endpoint. Olli has been caught by the beast and is eliminated.

Jenny: "Who is a 40-year-old virgin?"

*crickets*

Jenny: "Who's left?"

Raymond: "Not me...I'm married...with a...daughter."

Gordon: "I get it on whenever I want. The ladies can't resist me."

Jenny: "It must be one of those who are off the treadmill then...I guess Rhea. No offence."

Raymond: "I did it! I..."

Raymond: "I need to sit down..."

Rhea: "I didn't think you had it in you."

Raymond: "I guess I like trivia."

Jenny: "Game over. I got caught."

Jenny: "If I had gotten a few more trivia questions correct I would have made it. Raymond was constantly shouting his questions out loud so I couldn't focus on ky own questions."

Raymond has also made it to the endpoint while Jenny has been caught by the beast and is eliminated. All hope lies with Gordon now. Will he be able to earn another 20 points for the team?

Gordon: "My legs are turning to jelly..."

Rhea: "Damn, you see that sweat dripping off his back? So hot."

Gordon: "You like that eh? Then I guess I gotta keep pushing that sweat out."

Gordon: "All of a sudden I was the only one left. All eyes were on me. I couldn't see them but I knew they were counting on me to succeed, and I never disappoint a lady."

Sonya: "You're almost there!"

Sarah: "The beast is catching up!"

Sarah: "Come on Gordon! Just a little bit more!"

Raymond: "You did it!"

Gordon: "Fuck yeah! Now I can finally take a good look at you."

Gordon: "Oh."

"Contestants, you have just completed your first mission. Four of you succeeded: Sonya, Jesse, Raymond and Gordon. That brings you 80/200 points. Now you get a chance to return to reality and meet your fellow competitors. Take a good look, because one of you will be responsible for the executions of 7 others, and that is the Mole. Contestants, welcome to the Smole, Season 56."

It looks like the Mole has a headstart in this race with only 80/200 points in the pot. Will the contestants be able to beat the Mole and fill the pot?