14.02-Princesses can never beat queens

Q1: Is the Mole male or female?

A: Male

B: Female

Q2: Is the Mole above or below 40?

A: Above

B: Below

Q3: What colour hair does the Mole have?

A: Red

B: Blonde

C: Black

D: Brown

Q4: Did the Mole dye his/her hair?

A: Yes

B: No

Q5: In Mission 1, in what order did the Mole do the mission (Violet being number 1)?

A: 1^st

B: 2^nd

C: 3^rd

D: 4^th

E: 5^th

F: 6^th

G: 7^th

H: 8^th

I: 9^th

J: 10^th

K: 11^th

L: 12^th

M: 13^th

Q6: In Mission 1, where was the Mole?

A: Bathroom

B: Bedroom

C: Outside

D: Diary room

E: Kitchen

F: Dining Room

G: Living Room

H: Other

Q7: In Mission 1, how many words did the Mole give?

A: 0

B: 2

C: 3

D: 4

Q8: In Mission 1, who was before the Mole?

A: Cindy Veer

B: Eden Rock

C: Ella Marie Tremble

D: Julian Tosser

E: Michael Anderson

F: Poppy La Tootie

G: Renne Wynhemma

H: Royston Ketch

I: Vera Control

J: Victoria Elizabeth Penelope Diurn

K: Viola Striker

L: Violet Magenta Blues

M: Nobody

Q9: Who was after the Mole in Mission 1?

A: Cindy Veer

B: Eden Rock

C: Ella Marie Tremble

D: Julian Tosser

E: Michael Anderson

F: Poppy La Tootie

G: Renne Wynhemma

H: Royston Ketch

I: Venus Ixora

J: Vera Control

K: Victoria Elizabeth Penelope Diurn

L: Viola Striker

M: Nobody

Q10: Who is the Mole?

A: Cindy Veer

B: Eden Rock

C: Ella Marie Tremble

D: Julian Tosser

E: Michael Anderson

F: Poppy La Tootie

G: Renne Wynhemma

H: Royston Ketch

I: Venus Ixora

J: Vera Control

K: Victoria Elizabeth Penelope Diurn

L: Viola Striker

M: Violet Magenta Blues

Cindy: “This is hard, especially with that penalty! Oh, sorry about that.”

***

One by one, contestants will walk through the arch. As they walk through they will hear the announcement of whether they are safe or executed. If they are safe, they may sit at one of the tables. If not, they are to sit at a vacant table and do an interview before packing their bags and leaving.

“Michael Anderson, you are safe!”

Michael: “Phew!”

“Ella Marie Tremble, you are safe!”

Ella: “Of course I am.”

“Royston Ketch, you are safe!”

Royston: “Well I’m as lucky as f—“

“Will the next contestant please walk come out and get ready to walk through the arch, as we rehearsed? Stop stoning!”

“Renne Wynhemma, you are safe!”

Renne: “All right!”

“Poppy La Tootie, you are executed!”

Poppy: “Yay! Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry but you’re the first to go.”

Poppy: “Aw toodles.”

Ella: “Princesses can never beat queens.”

Michael: “She was so sweet! It’s sad to see her go.”

“Poppy, how do you feel?”

Poppy: “Disappointed that I’m the first to go. I wanted to prove to others that I can be independent and win this. Now my mother will be so upset.”

“Anything you’d like to tell the viewers before you go?”

Poppy: “Please don’t call me Poopie La Tootie like they do at home. It hurts.”

“Bye Poppy and thank you for joining us.”

Ella: “Bye Poopie La Tootie!”
Poppy: “Waah!”

Royston: “That was one scary experience. When my name was called I was like f—“

*taxi honks*

Poppy: “I’m coming!”

Poor Poppy has left! Who will be next?

14.01-Kiss me!

Welcome to the Smole, Season 14! This season, 13 contestants compete in various missions to earn points for the Pot, which will translate into the money the winner will win at the end. However, there will only be 1 winner in the end. How will that happen? The Mole makes it happen.

Among them is the Mole, hired by the producers to sabotage discreetly so that he/she will earn points for him/herself. After every mission contestants have to take a quiz to determine who the Mole is. The one with the lowest score is executed every week until 3 remain, one being the Mole.

This season, penalties will play a bigger role. Exemptions will still be around, but contestants now have to work to not be the lowest too, since most penalties usually (but not always) happens when one does the worst in a mission. This makes things harder to sabotage, unless you’re the Mole, in which it won’t matter.

Let’s invite the contestants!

First up, we have Cindy Veer, 23, maid.

Secondly, we have Eden Rock, 27, hip hop dancer.

Third, we have Ella Marie Tremble, 73, queen.

Fourth in place is Julian Tosser, 35, quarterback.

The fifth contestant is Michael Anderson, 32, university student.

Contestant number 6 is Poppy La Tootie, 25, princess.

Next up is Renne Wynhemma, 45, guitarist.

We also have Royston Ketch, 37, director.

After that is Venus Ixora, 32, unemployed.

The 10^th one is Vera Control, 26, part-time employee for a shop selling DVDs.

The next in line is Victoria Elizabeth Penelope Diurn, 49, queen.

After her is Viola Striker, 36, archer.

Last but not least, Violet Magenta Blues, 39, unemployed.

***

Contestants arrive at night and are supposed to settle in right away, but it looks like hearts are flying between these two!

Cindy: “Looks like this is the only place I can sleep in. Sigh.”

Renne: “Boo!”

Victoria: “Aah! Oh how embarrassing! How do I defuse the situation…”

Victoria: “Kiss me!”

Victoria: “I just violated myself on the second day here! My husband must be rolling in his grave! I apologise to you, dearest Alexander. It was the circumstance that caused this…you must be all lost. My name is Victoria Elizabeth Penelope Diurn. People who are close to me call me Victoria for short. I am the almighty queen and the only reason I joined is to see what these mere peasants do to earn social status and wealth. I may sound conceited but this is how I act. I am the queen, don’t forget.”

Julian: “Oh my gosh!”

Violet: “What is it?”

Julian: “Look over there! There is a note saying all those who sleep in this room will get a -1 penalty in the next quiz!”

Violet: “What! This is unfair! What’s the noise ahead?”

Renne: “Stop being such a snob.”

Victoria: “Was my kiss not good enough? I am the best kisser in the world, you insolent fool!”

Renne: “Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t believe you’re all royal and all that.”

Julian: “And then I found out there was a penalty in our room!”

Cindy: “How depressing! I should have chosen a different one…or arrive earlier. But it’s not anyone’s fault.”

Ella: “Stop it. You guys are making my waffles not load. See? Screw you all.”

***

Violet: “Woah! Do you always sneak up on others in the bathroom like that?”

“Nope. You just happen to be our lucky one!”

Violet: “Huh?”

“We’re currently having our first mission. I’ll be telling you a word or phrase, and then you have to create a synonym for that and spread it to the next contestant and so on. The last player must be able to identify the original word or phrase correctly.  100 points are at stake here, all or none. The word is…”

Victoria: “Ridiculous! I will not stand here and be insulted by you!”

“Attention all! Please head to a separate area of the house and make sure you are the only one there. The first mission commences!”

***

“Julian, here’s your synonym: Tinkerbell Divine Matriarch.”

Julian: “Hmm…Peter Pan Heavenly Patriarch? Also, I’m hoping this doesn’t go on air.”

“We’ve got it all covered.”

Viola: “Peter Pan Heavenly Patriarch? 4 words, eh?”

“We’re not telling you the exact word count.”

Viola: “Neverland Hellish Master.”

Renne: “What is this? Captain Hook?”

Eden: “Shipmaster Fishing Rod...that’s the best I could think of.”

Ella: “Captain Fishing Pole?”

“Captain has been used. Fishing needs to be changed.”

Ella: “Grr.. I’m in charge here! But fine…Leader Hobby Stick.”

Cindy: “I have a feeling it’s twisted and will get even more distorted. Sorry guys, but I can only think of Ruler Pastime Rod.”

“Rod has been used.”

Cindy: “Fetcher?”

Vera: “Sounds interesting! Saddam Hussein Fun Dog.”

Victoria: “Hmm…Fortunately I know who this guy is. Dictator Enjoyable Canine.”

***

Raccoon: “It’ so off it deserves to go into the trash.”

I hear ya, bud.

***

Royston: “Emperor Loving Feline.”

Poppy: “Emperor Loving Feline? Which cat loves emperors? Oh well. Dowager Alluring Cat.”

Michael: “I’m hoping the others have the same intellect as I. Cixi Tempting Kitten.”

Venus: “Who the heck is Cixi? Sounds like a Chinese name.”

“You have to guess what the original phrase was.”

Venus: “There’s no hope, but I’ll try. Chinese Luring Baby Animal?”

“And that is…”

“Wrong! Tell us what the original phrase was, Violet.”

Violet: “Fairy Godmother.”

Venus: “How was that even close to what I was given?”

Violet: “I understand. It’s not your fault. Things were bound to get warped when it passes through 13 people. And don’t forget that one of them is the Mole.”

Venus: “Thanks for your understanding. We hit off quite well. Why not we form a coalition? For all those ladies who start with ‘V’? I know who else I can recruit!”

Venus: “Well this mission was a mess. I mean really? Cixi Tempting Kitten? How was I supposed to know what that means? And so far from Fairy Godmother! I know the one before me was Michael Anderson. Just now really wasn’t the time for him to act smart. Maybe he overestimated me. I do have exotic tastes though. But I’m glad he chose to overestimate me than underestimate me. My personality is very similar to my friend Viola’s. We’re both headstrong, independent women who would work well with the Amazonians.”

***

Renne: “Michael Anderson! That was rubbish! You must be the Mole because you share the same name as Michael Mullard! And I bet you’re not married. Nobody likes a nerd!”

Michael: “What? That was so uncalled for.”

“Time to take the quiz.”