61.12-Do the cringe-speak

 Previously on the Smole...

Landon: "Babe, I'm your slave. I'm a big strong man who will fulfil your need in every way."

Eris: "That's not the real you."

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Eris: "You have been amazing. But you're just a baby playing with fire for the first time. I'm not giving you anything."

Landon: "You don't have to."

Eris: "Don't get carried away in your role."

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Eris: "This is PJ, and he's Jaxten's dad who left us when he found out I was pregnant."

Yvon: "This is PJ and he once accidentally poisoned me."

Landon: "This is PJ and I saved his life."

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Harper: "You don't even know how old your son is?"

Eris: "Why should I? They all grow up so fast. It's not like it really matters if he's one or two or three; they're the same functionally at that stage."

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Laron: "Woah woah woah. Let's back up here. How did the poison end up in your house and in your jar?"

Yvon: "He came over to our house as an apology for accidentally knocking me out."

Harper: "This just raises more questions."

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Laron: "I'll be honest here. When he first walked in I thought he definitely knew Yvon but the more she talked, the less I believe it."

Danny: "I think it's too obvious for them to know each other."

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Harper: "So how did you get in from across the street?"

Landon: "It was a two-storey building. I begged the owner next door to let me onto the roof, then parkoured from the roof to the café. Most buildings have rooftop access for safety and maintenance. I opened the hatch and climbed down into the café."

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Harper: "We think PJ was saved by Landon. He gave just the right amount of detail."

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PJ: "I'm PJ, and I accidentally poisoned Yvon."

Harper: "What? No way."

"That means nothing is added to the pot, but Landon gets another virus."

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Eris: "I thought if I sprinkled some truths in my lie they would be convinced. I can't believe it was my children that robbed me of my virus. I knew they were just baggage. Why does it matter what Kyleleigh likes or how old Jaxten is?"

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Harper: "I can't believe you're so forgiving,"

Eris: "I can't believe you never broke a bone."

Harper: "I'm sorry for doubting you."

Yvon: "The three of you immediately dismissed me."

Harper: "We thought there was no way you would be friends with him after what he tried to do to your horse."

Danny: "Or why you would even agree to have him on the show."

Yvon: "He didn't hurt Thunder so it was all good, especially since his parents had to grovel to me and my family and gifted me apology gifts. As to why I let him be one of those to come on to the show, well we are friends in some ways. We fought together against a swarm of locusts once."

Eris: "I was so close to being picked."

Harper: "No offence but it's so hard to think someone would want to hook up with a 47 year old."

Eris: "That's where you're wrong. I hooked up with both Ambrose and Landon. Multiple times."

Danny: "You what?"

Yvon: "Eww! I can't believe Landon is that kinda guy."

Eris: "They both have money and some fame."

Danny: "Hey, I have money and fame too."

Eris: "You? Famous? Good thing you weren't on the team of liars because you would have been caught instantly."

Danny: "I am famous!"

Eris: "To a bunch of college students, maybe."

Danny: "Woohoo me. That will show my wife that I have options."

Eris: "...You are going to have to pay me."

Yvon: "Ew. The men left are disgusting."

Harper: "For real. To think I thought it was cool that you were teaching for free online. Maybe everything those locals said at the bar are true."

Danny: "I'm strict for their own good."

Harper: "It's university! You're not their dad."

Danny: "That attitude is how you become a failure in life. That's why you're just stuck in a comic book store. You're lazy and take shortcuts."

Yvon: "That was not cool."

Danny: "Neither are all your Gen-Z slang but I still do the cringe-speak to appeal to you lot."

Harper: "I'm so glad I never had a prof like you."

Eris: "So is the deal on? 300 Simoleons an hour."

Danny: "An hour? That's daylight robbery!"

Eris: "It's going to be an expensive rate for someone who claims to be rich and famous."

Danny: "Hell no. Go woohoo yourself instead. Landon is a numbskull for shelling out that much."

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Landon: "So how does it feel to have the whole room to yourself dude?"

Laron: "Great. I have more space now. Ambrose was a nice dude but it's good for the game that competition's gone."

Landon: "Amen to that nigga."

Laron: "Only blacks can use that."

Landon: "Am I not an honorary black?"

Laron: "No."

Landon: "...Sorry then."

Laron: "Are you gonna use the viruses tonight?"

Landon: "I don't know man. What do you think the best play is?"

Laron: "I hate to do this to anyone but I'm thinking Danny or Eris. I feel that they're our strongest threats right now."

Landon: "So you don't think they're the Mole?"

Laron: "Why would I when I'm talking to the man himself?"

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Landon: "So Laron thinks I'm the Mole. That's interesting to hear. I played the role of a hardworking contestant; maybe it's time for a switch and be the most convincing Mole."

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Danny: "I knew I'd find you here."

Landon: "What's up? Looking to work out too?"

Danny: "Watch it!"

Landon: "Maybe you should step to the side."

Danny: "No. In fact, I'll step closer."

Danny: "I can't believe Eris is interested in woohooing you and not me. In what way do I lose out to you? You're rich and famous? Well so am I. I have thousands of followers online."

Landon: "You call that famous? Let's go around town asking whether they watch programming videos online or if they watch movies."

Danny: "I make lots of money too."

Landon: "Yeah, as a tenured professor. How much can you really make in academia?"

Danny: "At least I don't need to wear makeup to look younger."

Landon: "I don't wear makeup to look younger. I already am younger. Such a mid comeback."

Danny: "Since when have you gotten so unlikable? You weren't like this before. Is this really Landon?"

Landon: "Great. You sound just like Eris now. She's not even worth your time, trust me. One moment she's all over you, the next moment she's not the least bit interested in you."

Danny: "Women."

Landon: "Tell me about it."

Landon: "She went on a rant about how I'm just acting and she wants to see 'the real me'. Like please. I am the real me. I didn't lose sight of anything."

Danny: "She does have a point. You should always be true to yourself. It's about being principled and having ethics."

Landon: "I am true to myself."

Danny: "So the true you is a horny man who would woohoo an old hag."

Landon: "Yes."

Danny: "Wow. Really? I was really wrong about you then."

Landon: "AAAAAAARRRRGGHH! I don't fucking know, okay?"

Danny: "Don't yell into the damn stereo."

Landon: "Why does it matter so much who I am deep down? I'm a workaholic and artistic and a perfectionist and irresistible and brave. Is that not enough for you guys?"

Danny: "Those are just traits. They're only one part of your identity. Not to mention those are traits that you deliberately want to present to others as a catfish."

Landon: "Fine! So what if I'm playing a part?  This is the Smole. Everyone here is acting."

Danny: "Not me."

Danny: "I think Eris doesn't like you any more because she thinks you're fake, even when it's outside of missions. Outside of the missions you can be yourself. Isn't it tiring trying to be someone you're not?"

Landon: "No. It's absolutely natural. It comes to me easily."

Danny: "Then do you lose it easily? Or are you stuck in the role so deep that you can't let go of it?"

Danny: "When you're with Eris you're a fuckboy. When you're with Ambrose you copy his gayisms. When you're with Laron you're all dude-broy. When you're with Harper and Yvon you start using all their titty-litty Gen Z slang. When you're with Bridget you talk as slowly as she does. What about when you're alone?"

Landon: "I...I..."

Yvon: "So you are in here!"

Landon: "Yvon! What was that for?"

Yvon: "I was wrong about you."

Landon: "Did you not like the watch I gave you?"

Yvon: "I don't want your stinkin' watch. I don't want anything from you. You use that same money to stuff it down Eris's boobs."

Landon: "I don't do that."

Yvon: "How could I have been so dumb to form a coalition with you? You're so loose and cunning. I was so excited to meet an actor when you first joined. I thought you were an honest and faithful man."

Landon: "I am!"

Yvon: "You know Eris sleeps around for money. If you give her money to sleep with you then you're sleeping with all the men she slept with!"

Landon: "You're right. I didn't think of it that way. I'm sorry."

Yvon: "Do you think I can be that easily bought with an apology and a gift?"

Danny: "So which is it Landon? Are you faithful or a player? Are you trustworthy or untrustworthy?"

Landon: "I'm neither."

Danny: "How can you be neither? They're mutually exclusive."

Landon: "Just give me some time to think. I'll figure it out."

Yvon: "Our coalition is over. I don't know if I can believe a word you can say any more."

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Landon: "Who am I? What have I become? I don't even know any more."

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Danny: "Well that was a marvellous blowup. All I did was just become a teacher for a while and ask probing questions. And like 90% of my students he couldn't answer which means he cheated! Sorry, occupational habit. I meant, he's unclear."

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Laron: "I nearly believed you in the mission."

Eris: "That's to be expected. There were some truths in there."

Laron: "How much of it is the truth?"

Eris: "I have two children from two different fathers who abandoned them. That much is true."

Laron: "That's pretty admirable."

Eris: "I don't need admiration. I need money."

Laron: "By being a showgirl? No offence but you're past your prime."

Eris: "You're one to speak."

Laron: "That's why I'm no longer a pro athlete."

Eris: "Being a showgirl is all I've ever known and it helped me rake in big bucks before. What else could I be if not that?"

Laron: "You could learn a new skill."

Eris: "At my age? Ha."

Laron: "Or you could capitalise on other existing skills. You seem quite good at darts."

Eris: "I've been frequenting bars and clubs while you were still drinking your momma's milk."

Eris: "Bullseye."

Laron: "Have you considered being a pro darts player?"

Eris: "It's too much effort to train. I play for fun, not for work."

Laron: "Let me have a go."

Eris: "The floor's yours."

Laron: "Damn it."

Laron: "Everyone has a hidden talent or skill. Guess darts throwing isn't mine."

Eris: "I do have some other skills, I suppose. But being a showgirl is what I'm best at and it's the most lucrative. And I get to have fun while doing it."

Laron: "Have you thought about what kind of values you are teaching your children?"

Eris: "I don't need you to lecture me."

Laron: "As a single parent, you have to put in the extra effort to raise your kids right."

Eris: "They're fine. They're not dead. I think."

Laron: "You think? Who did you ask to take care of your children?"

Eris: "They're old enough to take care of themselves."

Laron: "Jaxten is 3."

Eris: "Kyleleigh is 11...ish. I lost count. But it doesn't matter. She's old enough to take care of herself and her younger brother."

Laron: "I've never seen a more irresponsible parent."

Eris: "Tell that to the father of their children. They somehow managed to weasel their way out of paying alimony. Perks of being rich and having lawyers."

Laron: "You don't even want to give them a complete family? You're just after their money?"

Eris: "Pfft, all the old folks are good for is money. You think they give two shits about their spawn? Clearly not. I don't either."

Laron: "You must still care for Kyleleigh and Jaxten if you chose to raise them yourself. Somewhere. Deep down. If you search hard enough."

Eris: "They cost me the win in the mission."

Laron: "That's not their fault."

Eris: "They're useful for future profits."

Laron: "It's hard to find a sugar daddy with two children in tow. And you failed to get money out of their biological fathers but you still kept them."

Eris: "So I'm not a heartless monster and have some attachment to my kids. Is that so surprising?"

Laron: "Is it that hard to admit you actually care for them and want to give them a better life."

Eris: "I'm giving them the best life I can. Now shut up and let me play in peace. You're messing with my aim."

Laron: "I'm feeling very fortunate right now to have a loving wife like Sheniqua."

Eris: "Yeah yeah. In another life that would be nice. But this is the life we have and have to suck it up."

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It is time for the quiz. 10 questions about the actions identity of the Mole. The lowest scorer will be executed.

Q1: Is the Mole male or female?

A: Male

B: Female

Q2: Does the Mole currently share a room with another contestant?

A: Yes

B: No

Q3: Is the Mole married?

A: Yes

B: No

Q4: In Mission 6, what was the Mole's role?

A: Claimant

B: Guesser

Q5: In Mission 6, who sat opposite the Mole?

A: Laron Jamisson

B: Eris Field

C: Harper Umbra

D: Yvon von Vony

E: Danny Namal

F: Landon Harding

Q6: What is the Mole's claimed relationship with PJ Bussy in Mission 6?

A: Father of child

B: Accidental poisoner

C: Saviour

D: The Mole did not claim a relationship

Q7: In Mission 6, what was something the Mole said in relation to PJ Bussy?

A: PJ was rich

B: PJ's horse trampled on the Mole

C: PJ was a barista

D: None of the above

Q8: In Mission 6, in which order did the Mole ask a question?

A: 1st

B: 2nd

C: 3rd

D: The Mole was asked questions

Q9: Did the Mole know PJ Bussy?

A: Yes

B: No

Q10: Who is the Mole?

A: Danny Namal

B: Eris Field

C: Harper Umbra

D: Landon Harding

E: Laron Jamisson

F: Yvon von Vony

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Eris: "If I was the Mole. I would volunteer to eliminate myself in the previous mission so that I can decide who to pick in this mission."

Yvon: "They immediately excluded me from contention when it was so obvious. He was wearing plaid and jeans and cowboy boots."

Landon: "They dismissed Yvon because she never broke a bone, but they forgot how she was bleeding from the head at the bar and survived with barely a scratch. She's made of steel or something."

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Harper: "So team, what are you thinking?"

Danny: "I think we can eliminate Yvon immediately. Her story is way too fake. There's no way she can survive a panicked horse trampling."

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Laron: "Harper did not want to take responsibility for the decision as team captain. She made it clear that she picked Landon because she 'followed the team'."

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Harper: "Danny, you're thinking Landon right? How about you Laron?"

Laron: "Landon or Eris. But if I had to pick one I would go for Landon as well."

Harper: "Then I'll listen to the team."

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Danny: "Yvon gave fake tells and seemed too nervous for someone who was telling the truth. It's like she didn't want to be chosen."

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Landon: "It was about 3 years ago. It was for Good Citizens."

Yvon: "Oh I remember that! I completely forgot you were in it"

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Laron: "Eris and Landon were way too eager to lie for a virus. It ain't worth 80 points."

Harper: "I think Yvon's claim was so far-fetched that the Mole didn't have to do much to lose the 80 points. Eris and Landon had far more believable lies."

Eris: "I don't believe I was the only one to bug Harper. I need to bug her again. If she survives, this could be telling."

Landon: "I'm so tempted to stack the two viruses but something is telling me to spread them out. I'll send one Danny's way first."

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"Welcome to the Palace of Eastminster. The six of you have successfully beaten five other competitors to make it here. One of you will be beaten again. Harper has been bugged while Danny has been the recipient of a virus. As a reminder, a bug randomly changes one answer while a virus changes a correct answer into a wrong one."

"But in this hall, you will face judgement. For those who have played bugs and viruses, you will have to face karma. This means that for your latest quiz, you will receive the effects of whatever bugs and viruses you have played to this current point."

"Let us go down the line to see how this affects the execution today. Harper Umbra, please start us off."

Harper: "Yvon von Vony."

Yvon: "Eris Field."

Eris: "Danny Namal."

Danny: "Laron Jamisson."

"Harper Umbra, Landon Harding, one of you will be executed tonight."

Laron: "Harper Umbra."

"That means Landon Harding, you have unfortunately been executed. Please pack your bags and leave."

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Eris: "I'm going to 8888 Gray's Inn Road. From there I can take a bus to 456 Elliot Road which enables me to take the metro."

Landon: "Copy, Detective Pink."

Eris: "Someone's really into it."

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Landon: "Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi...who were the other two?"

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Landon: "Another round on me! We're gonna get shitfaced tonight!"

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Landon: "It has been a journey to hunt the Mole and despite my best efforts, I could not find him or her. The Mole has bested me. Had I known I would be facing judgement day today, I would not have used that virus. But it is too late now. The game is done for me so I can stop pretending to be a Mole and start being myself again...if I am able to rediscover myself."

"Thank you for joining, Landon. We hope to see you soon."

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Pot: 252/540