59.Bonus-Interview with Ted Ursus

Introducing our third contestant for the season: Ted Ursus! Come sit down with us as we sit down with him in this exclusive interview!

Interviewer: "Hi Ted. Why not you introduce yourself?"

Ted: "Umm, I'm Ted."

Interviewer: "Last name?"

Ted: "Ursus."

Interviewer: "You should give more than that. Tell us your age, your birth month, your parents' names, your job, your hobbies, things like that."

Ted: "Okay. I am 40 years old this year. I was born in October. I don't have a job currently. My parents are Helen Ursus and Peter Ursus. My hobbies are birdwatching, I suppose. Or poetry. Sometimes I sing to myself while gardening."

Interviewer: "Ah, so you garden!"

Ted: "I have to. I live alone and have to depend on myself for survival."

Interviewer: "You're not married?"

Ted: "I have never been married."

Interviewer: "Why did you join the Smole and what's your strategy going into this?"

Ted: "Umm actually I didn't join."

Interviewer: "Then why are you here?"

Ted: "I...umm...I was duped into this. I saw an advertising that claimed they were a matchmaking agency. They claimed that I just needed to provide my information and they would find the perfect match for me. Then someone got back to me and claimed I needed to come all the way here and sign a whole bunch of things first...Oh my god, is this going to air?"

Interviewer: "Every word of it. Keep it coming! The audience loves this."

Ted: "I rather not. This is so embarrassing. I shouldn't have been so stupid."

Interviewer: "Then let's move on to something lighter. What's your favourite food?"

Ted: "Umm, grilled cheese?"

Interviewer: "Simple and comforting. Favourite colour?"

Ted: "Umm, green. Lime green to be specific."

Interviewer: "Favourite music genre?"

Ted: "Umm, I have this small radio of folk songs, so I guess that."

Interviewer: "Which ones are your favourite?"

Ted: "Umm, The Sound of Silence, Blowin in the Wind, and Scarborough Fair.."

Interviewer: "Movie genre?"

Ted: "Oh my god, I haven't been to the movies in ages. I don't think I have a favourite. Maybe slice-of-life movies?"

Interviewer: "What is your favourite season?"

Ted: "Umm, summer, maybe."

Interviewer: "And Smole season? And Mole?"

Ted: "Umm, I haven't heard of the Smole before this."

Interviewer: "Right. Then I suppose there is only one question left to ask: Ted, are you the Mole?"

Ted: "Umm, no?"

Interviewer: "We'll find out soon enough. Thanks for tuning in to this interview. If you want to find out more about Ted and whether he's the Mole, do tune in to Season 59 when it airs!"