Tuesday 24 February 2015

17.19-Idiot Bernice

Previously on the Smole, the final 5 had to find a needle, or rather, a locket, in a haystack, or rather, many haystacks. Bernie succeeded in finding it and snagging the exemption as well as the Mole’s dossier. 17 bales were scattered, fetching 85/250 points, or 940/1570 points. Viola was found to be the most popular among the public as she had earned herself an exemption by the public. Bernice, Mimi and Taylor were up for execution and Mimi found herself leaving the house. Who will be the last to leave? Who will make it to the final 3? Who is the Mole?

***



Viola: “I sense danger.”
Bernie: “I smell something burning. Bernice, wake up.”




Bernie: “It’s a fire! Someone do something!”
Taylor: “I brought the extinguisher from upstairs!”
Viola: “I don’t need your help.”
Taylor: “Let’s just get this over and done with.”


Bernie: “Idiot Bernice! You left the fireplace on!”
Bernice: “Stupid cheap fireplace! Ours would never cause an unintentional fire!”
Bernie: “You disrupted me from my sleep.”


Bernice: “How do you turn off this thing anyway?”
Taylor: “Sigh…let me show you.”
Bernice: “No need. I’m never touching it again.”

***



Bernice: “Stupid gnome! Go and die!”


Bernice: “I hope nobody noticed that.”

***


The final 4 are going to the park to have a hotdog eating contest. The winner will earn the last exemption and anyone who completes the contest wins 20 points. This is worth 80 points.


Taylor: “Yeah, run and hide! You won’t beat me! This is my area of expertise!”
Bernie: “Oh?”


“Ready…go!”


Taylor: “Haven’t gorged myself in such a long time…”
Bernice: “Why am I doing this?”
Bernie: “I need to add to my memo things I would never do again…join the Smole, for instance.”
Viola: “You can do this, Viola. Win this!”


Bernice: “I don’t feel so good…BLERGH!”


Bernice: “That’s it. Why am I forcing myself to suffer? I quit!”


Bernie: “Must…bear…”
Viola: “Must..win…”
Taylor: “I…win…”


Taylor: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I win!”
“Congratulations Taylor! You have earned yourself the last exemption this season! You are making it to the final 3!”
Taylor: “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”




Bernie: “That’s it. It’s over. I don’t know why I’m putting myself through any more of this. Though I realised I have a steel stomach.”


Viola: “Taylor…congratulations.”


Viola: “Excuse me while I find a bathroom!”



Taylor: “I did it! I feel so great now…told you I’d win.”
“Only Taylor finished the mission, so 20/80 points have been earned, bringing the pot to 960/1650 points. The Mole is overtaking you all. Are you all tired?”

***




The final 4 spend the rest of the afternoon at the festival.


Taylor: “Cheap! Plastic! No artistic value! Commercialised! Unworthy!”


Bernie: “Grr…grr! Stupid Taylor stole my exemption.”


Viola: “I reckon I can do better than them.”


Viola: “Hey! Stop bumping into me!”


Viola: “Since you’re so useless, let me help you.”













Viola: “I’m hoping the next mission will have something to do with archery or harps. I excel at both of them.”


Look who arrived!
Mimi: “Oh, cute boys! Any cute boys here?”


And over in the distance we have a runaway bride…



Bernice: “A Red Admiral. Maybe I can add that to the collection in the office.”


Bernie: “Okay, maybe I don’t have a steel stomach.”


Taylor: “Hey Mimi! I’m in! I’m in the final 3!”


Bernie: “Since these are free, might as well use them to my advantage.”


Bernie: “What? A poof? Cheap.”


Viola: “I shouldn’t indulge in treats…yes, I must resist until the very end! Any children here wants my snow cone?”




Taylor: “Hi Bernice.  A penny for your thoughts?”
Bernice: “My thoughts are worth more than a penny. You shouldn’t have won.”
Taylor: “Then who should? You? You quit voluntarily! Not my problem.”


Bernice: “Hmph!”


Bernie: “Ah! Stupid pager! Forgot I still had it with me! It’s so annoying! Don’t they know I’m busy?”
“Okay, next season, we’re stripping all communication devices.”


Mimi looks happy…and the same.



Bernie: “Taylor, scram. I want that seat.”
Taylor: “Alright. I’ll give you couple time to talk.”
Bernie: “Remember our deal?”
Taylor: “You didn’t give it to me. I won it fair and square. And you rejected it anyway.”


Bernice: “Bernie…you have to choose me as the Mole. That way we can ensure all the money will be ours.”
Bernie: “What? So you’re admitting you’re the Mole.”
Bernice: “Yes. I love you Bernie. I can’t fool you anymore.”















Bernie: “I don’t know who to trust now. Bernice lied to me about being the Mole. I’m not that stupid. She can’t be the Mole. I bet she wants to devour the winner’s money herself! I can’t believe her! Yet clues point to her…and every other direction possible.”


Mimi: “This is what I’m talking about! The house was so boring! There wasn’t a single stereo!”

As Mimi dances, the contestants return home to take the quiz.

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