Thursday 20 July 2023

56.17-Woe is me! Woe is me!


In the last episode of the Smole, the final four took part in Whose Line Is It Anyway? and improvised scenes from a fishbowl to earn 88 bonus points, making the pot 407/800 points. Gordon was deemed the funniest and thus he gets an advantage. However, he may end up losing it in the next mission. Will he be able to secure his placing in the finale? Or is his placing already secured as the Mole?


"Mason, Gordon's advantage is that he can get an exemption for the finale. However, his spot in the finale is not yet confirmed."


"You have the chance to stop him from earning his exemption, perhaps together with your teammates, perhaps alone."


"In front of you is a screen, telling you your role. Remember it well. This could be the key to keeping the exemption out of play. But of course, fairness comes at a price."


"How far are you willing to go?"
Mason: "All the way. I'm not letting Gordon get that exemption."


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Host: "We're now playing Let's Make A Date. Gordon, as our funniest man, is on a blind dating show with three eligible bachelors and bachelorettes with strange quirks. He must determine their identities to earn points. If he gets 1 or none correct, he earns no points. If he gets 2 correct, he earns 50 points. And if he gets all 3 correct, he earns 100 points and an exemption. He can ask each of them questions, but after the first 3 questions, each question reduces the total amount of winnings by 5 points."


Host: "Our three bachelors and bachelorettes were not allowed to communicate a strategy with each other. Will they let Gordon win for the group pot's sake? Or will they throw the game in the name of fairness?"

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Mason: "I'm not letting Gordon get that exemption."

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Jenny: "It's a difficult decision to make. Nobody is going to hand Gordon the finale on a silver platter. But who will be the one to stop him? If two of us deliberately feed him bad answers, we get nothing out of it. It's a tough balancing act."

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Jesse: "I'm this close to the finale. I don't know if I want to risk losing my spot because it goes to Gordon. But at the same time it doesn't seem fair to take it away from him if he earned it. I'm not sure what to do. I'll just wing it and give vague responses. If he gets me, then that's how it shall be."

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Host: "Gordon, you may begin. You have 20 minutes."
Gordon: "Bachelor #1. You gotta have good financial sense if you wanna date me. What stocks do you buy?"


Jesse: "Stocks? Never heard of them."
Gordon: "What's your net worth?"
Jesse: "Not enough. I'm poor and underpaid."


Gordon: "You already sound like a horrible date. Moving on to Bachelor #2. What's your idea of a good date?"


Mason: "I'm thinking of going to a nice restaurant, like Osteria Francescana. We can order pizza and red wine. Then we'll go to...a paintball arena and shoot each other."


Gordon: "That sounds awesome. I'm loving it already. Bachelorette #3, why do you think you deserve to go on a date with me?"


Jenny: "Well, that's because I'm the best..."


Jenny: "How dare you ask me this stupid question? Clearly you're not enough for me if you have to ask this question!"


Gordon: "Woah, a feisty one. I now want to ask each of you a question: what do you do for a living?" 


Jesse: "I work in an assembly line for an evil manager who thinks he's the best gift to the world."


Mason: "I don't know much about my profession but I work in a low-brow, dirty environment."


Jenny: "I work as a funeral director. My work involves having to arrange all the n..."


Jenny: "Oh, it pains me just to think about it! Woe is me! Woe is me! Every time I think about the.."


Jenny: "Aaah! Stay away from me! Stay away from me! I don't want to date you any more!"
Jesse: "Overdramatic much?"
Host: "Bachelor #1! No communicating with your love rivals!"


Gordon: "Damn it. That's 4 questions already. I only have 20 questions max before I empty today's winnings. But all 3 of them are giving me vague answers. I don't think I'll actually be able to get it right and keep my exemption. That means the focus is shifted to the pot. Do I risk gunning for the big prize and ask more questions or do I play it more conservatively?"


Gordon: "I'll ask one more question. Bachelor #1, which company do you work for?"


Jesse: "It's not from around here. You won't know it. But it's horrible here and I want to get out as soon as I can."

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Gordon: "I decided to risk it. Life isn't fun if you take a little risk once in a while."

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Gordon: "I'm ready to guess who they are."
Host: "Already? Then take it away."


Gordon: "Bachelor #1 is a disgruntled Amazon warehouse employee."
Jesse: "You got it wrong pal. I'm actually Santa Claus's elf who's planning on overthrowing him."


Gordon: "Fuck. Then I guess Bachelor #2 is Michelangelo. The ninja turtle."
Mason: "Nope I'm Michelangelo the sculptor."
Host: "Actually, Gordon's right. You're Michelangelo from TMNT. It was specified in your role."
Mason: "What?"

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Mason: "I never watched TMNT. I didn't know what it stood for so I ignored it and took my role to be Michelangelo the sculptor. Shit. I still can't believe how Gordon managed to get it right despite me misinterpreting it."

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Gordon: "I don't actually know who Bachelorette #3 is. I gave up on her and was hoping I'd score the first two. But I do know that she goes from one end of the emotional spectrum to another at the drop of a hat."
Host: "Could you be more specific when that happens?"


Gordon: "Whenever she says 'the'?"
Host: "That's correct. You got two of the identities right. You asked 5 questions that cost points, so you earn 25/50 points. Unfortunately, you lost your exemption."
Gordon: "Fuck. But I knew that was gonna happen."


The contestants successfully stopped Gordon's ticket to the finale at the expense of the pot. Anyone can be executed right before the finale. Who will it be? 

Next episode...


Jenny: "Ever since that quiz twist was revealed I've had two suspects in my mind."


Jenny: "You know Gordon, sometimes you say the wisest things."


Jesse: "Both of them have been suspicious. Which of them is it?"


Mason: "I used to respect you."


Jesse: "Maybe this isn't the life for me."
Gordon: "Can you really turn your back on this?"


Gordon: "Only one of them is actually it."


Jenny: "You're an amazing woman and I hate the thought of never seeing someone as beautiful as you again."


Mason: "Now's the worst time to take a risk. But now's the only time."


"The finale is almost in sight, unfortunately one of you won't reach it. Who will be the last contestant executed?"


Gordon: "I don't need that exemption anyway. I know who the Mole is."

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