18.13-Where's my morning cup of coffee?

Last time on the Smole, 9 contestants played a game of Mafia, to which the mafia won with their strategy. Veronica, Natalie and Craig earned an exemption but at the cost of 100 points, so the pot had 200/880 points. Being the last townsperson left, Colette earned the right to ask a question, but she instead made a guess. Ernest was the human shield, so Roy, Fern, Vivian and Bryan found themselves vulnerable once again. In the end, the Mole picked meek little Fern Shone Hu to execute. Who shall be next?

***

Craig: “I feel like there is too much feminism in this house. Where is the male lead? And where’s my morning cup of coffee? Ugh, I hate the fact that there’s no personal servant.”

Veronica: “Dark Rising is actually on! I love that gothic show!”

***

Vivian: “Ow! Someone needs to fix this elevator! It’s destroying my delicate skin!”

Veronica: “Nobody will fix that. It’s like that one episode on Dark Rising where…”

Vivian: “I don’t watch that. Never heard of it, really.”

Roy: “She is right though. We can never depend on others. It’s hopeless.”

Vivian: “I don’t need someone to rain on my parade so early in the morning!”

***

 

Ernest: “So, why are we gathered here?”

Craig: “My men, we all want to win this, right? Then we need to form a coalition and work together. Don’t let the girls crawl over our heads like they have for the past countless seasons!”

Ernest: “Yeah! They may all be pretty girls, but we men should be the one on top!”

Bryan: “What Ernest? Disgusting! I never thought you were that type of guy.”

Ernest: “I’m a guy. It’s normal to ogle and all the pretty girls on the street.”

Craig: “Exactly Bryan. I hope you don’t betray us to a bunch of girls who will climb over your head.”

Roy: “It’s hopeless. We will still lose, no matter what.”

Ernest: “I don’t want to hear that!”

Craig: “What he said. We are in this together, whether you like it or not!”

Bryan: “I smell pancakes. Let’s go eat breakfast or the girls will suspect something.”

 

…*crickets*…the animosity really has got to stop.

To break the awkwardness, let’s count the number of flowers this season’s contestants have been getting. This is probably the first season for contestants to autonomously give one another flowers.

 ***

Craig: “Now I can’t have you guys backing out, so I need you to prove your loyalty. Now who wants to go first?”

Ernest: “I want to go first! Watch me, guys!”

Ernest: “1…2….3..4…5…”

Craig: “Why are you hiding here? You’re such a sissy! We have a sissy here, guys!”

Bryan: “AAH! Don’t scare me like that!”

Craig: “My gosh, you sound like a girl!”

Bryan: “I do want to have a go. I’m just waiting for Ernest to be done.”

 

Ernest: “Urgh, go Ernest, you can do it!”

Craig: “Okay, you’ve proven it already. Let the others have a go.”

Ernest: “No! I want to break my record!”

Craig: “Don’t be selfish and get down now!”

Bryan: “Alright, time to give it a shot!”

Craig: “Oh my gosh you suck at this! It’s amusing watching you struggle.”

Bryan: “At least I bother to try!”

Craig: “Watch how I do it.”

Craig: “See that? That’s how a pro does it…where’s everyone?”

Roy: “They left.”

Craig: “Darn them! They are all traitors!”

***

“Contestants, please choose a seat. Excellent. Since Bryan is the last one standing, he shall be the Alien. This is your next mission. There will be one more empty chair put where Bryan is, so Bryan, would you mind going to the other end?”

Bryan: “Yeah, sure, no problem.”

“Now, Bryan will walk towards the empty chair in an attempt to sit on it. The 7 of you must prevent him from doing so by sitting on that chair. The now-vacant chair will then be Bryan’s next target. In short, to earn 200 points, Bryan must not be able to sit on a chair for the next hour. If he succeeds in doing so however, no points are earned and he will get an exemption and a chance to ask a question. This game must be played in silence. Also, Bryan may only walk. Once up, you may not sit back on the same chair unless you sit on another chair first.”

Bryan has begun.

*Anything in italics is what is going on in the contestants' minds.

Roy: Someone sit on that chair.

Vivian: He’s coming! Quick! QUICK! Okay stop getting flustered, you’ll age faster.

Ernest: “Ha! I got the seat! Too bad!”

Bryan: “Nevermind, I’ll move to the other chair then.”

Vivian: Oh my goodness! Roy is taking his own sweet time! He’ll never be able to stop Bryan!

Roy: There’s no point in trying since we’ll lose but I’ll at least look like I’m doing something.

Bryan: “I’m going to sit..”

Roy: “…”

Craig: “Not so fast there.”

Vivian: “You’re not getting this seat!”

Bryan: “It’s alright. You can have this seat. Sit tight.”

Vivian: “Like would someone do something! It’s so tiring running everywhere! I’m starting to sweat!”

Vivian: “Everyone else was not helping. It was so tiring running from one point to another to stop Bryan from sitting! The worst were Veronica and Tammy. They did not move their butts one inch!”

Bryan: “I just need to turn around. It’s that simple.”

Ernest: “Boo-yeah!”

Natalie: “It started off well but then went haywire when those close to the empty chair got up. I remember Ernest did that. Vivian tried hard but she didn’t really use her brains. Typical. That’s why she got so worked up and wasted all her energy running from one point to another while Bryan simply stopped and turned around halfway.”

Bryan: “Not bad, Colette.”

Colette: “Phew…he was almost sitting on it.”

Colette: “In our heads we were strategising. The best strategy was to wait for Bryan to near the chair, then someone from the other end dash across and sit before he does. I honestly wasn’t planning to move because I hate running, but seeing as nobody else was going to either, I gave it my all to stop him from sitting. I think my heels broke…”

Vivian: “Oi! There’s an empty chair! Craig! Hurry up already!”

Vivian: “Nevermind, I’ll do it myself.”

Craig: “Ha! My hand is on the chair. You can’t sit.”

Bryan: “You guys are good.”

 

Veronica: He’s going to sit. It’s game over.

Vivian: “Ack! It’s too late!”

“Bryan has sat! You all were so close! A minute before the hour is up and 200 points would have been yours! Now, it’s 0/200, or 200/1080 points. Though because Vivian, Ernest, Craig and Bryan talked, the points would have been forfeited anyway.”

Vivian: “Oops. I got too worked up I guess.”

“The Mole is really going to enjoy himself this season. Bryan earns an exemption and the right to earn a question. Also, a hidden exemption goes to the lucky person who is currently sitting on this one chair…”

 

“The orange chair is the lucky chair! And the lucky one sitting on this chair is…”

“…Roy! Congratulations! You get a hidden exemption!”

Roy: “What is the point?”

“Natalie is the human shield, so everyone else is at risk.”

 

Colette: “Your makeup is dripping, Vivi.”

Vivian: “I know! It was so tiring!”

Bryan: “If you didn’t pull out your parasol, you may have beaten me to the chair.”

Vivian: “Well it’s so hot and I’m doing the most running!”