27.Bonus-Miranda Sings

This song randomly popped up in my head today and I thought it would be kind of fitting for Miranda Calsberg (or Mallory Friends), so I tweaked the lyrics a little and imagined if Miranda was singing this. To the tune of "This Is Real" by Demi Lovato, I present to you "Is This Me?"

I've always been the kind of girl

That hid my face

So afraid to tell the world

What I've got to say

I'm searching for this dream
Right inside of me
Why can't I just let it show
Is it time
Please let me know
Please let me know

Is this real, is this me
Where am I exactly supposed to be now
Why can't I see the light
Shi-i-ning
I can't find
Who I am
There's no way to ever tell
No more hiding, who do I want to be
Is this me

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark
To dream about a life where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

Is this real, is this me
Where am I exactly supposed to be now
Why can't I see the light
Shi-i-ning
I can't find
Who I am
There's no way to ever tell
No more hiding, who do I want to be
Is this me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
But I can't find you
Where can I find you

Is this real, is this me
Where am I exactly supposed to be now
Why can't I see the light
Shi-i-ning
I can't find
Who I am
There's no way to ever tell
No more hiding, who do I want to be
Is this me

You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
Is this me
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing

I haven't found who I am
There must be a way to see
No more hiding, please just tell me
Is this me

29.04-Use that part

The contestants had to go door-to-door to learn Chinese from the residents of Shang Simla. They were then each asked three questions pertaining to Chinese to test their learning. Edward, Joe and Cairo aced the test with all three questions correct, Fred got two and the rest got one. 15 questions were right in total, making the mission's earning 150/240 and the pot 250/400 points. Savannah earned a correction for getting the question on corrections right. Who will get to see their quiz standings this time?

***

Paula: "I've had it with you, you wretch."

Paula: "Stop acting so uppity. It's disgusting."

Milan: "You are pazzo."

Savannah: "You can do it! Yes, use that part! You're doing great, Joe!"

Cairo: "Ow!"

Joe: "Are you okay?"

Savannah: "Don't hurt yourself."

Cairo: "I am fine."

Joe: "Why not let Savannah teach you?"

Cairo: "I can handle this myself."

Savannah: "I'm not that great in Simfu, to be honest."

Fred: "I must study very hard for the quiz. As long as I work hard, I can be good at anything."

***

Time for the quiz. Cairo uses both his corrections.

Cairo: "I am going to use my corrections and push to see my results. I want to know if I am on the right track."

Q1: Is the Mole male or female?

A: Male

B: Female

Q2: Does the Mole sleep on the first or second floor?

A: First

B: Second

Q3: Who shares the same room as the Mole?

A: Jae-heun Baek

B: Milan Lombardy

C: Savannah Pittsburgh

D: Paula Mosely

E: Cairo Kong

F: Joe Abberg

G: Brandon Alridge

H: Edward Smith

Q4: In Mission 2, which household did the Mole visit?

A: Yuan household

B: XioZhi household

C: Wang household
D: Pei household

Q5: In Mission 2, who did the Mole approach to teach him/her Chinese?

A: Ziyi Yuan

B: Lu Yuan

C: Zhi Sima

D: Xio Wu

E: Deng Wang

F: Maya Wang

G: Ai Pei

H: Wei Pei

Q6: In Mission 2, how many questions did the Mole get correct?

A: 1

B: 2

C: 3

Q7: In Mission 2, which question did the Mole get asked?

A: What is "rabbit" in Chinese?

B: What is "goggles" in Chinese?

C: What is "champagne" in Chinese?

D: What is "bookshelf" in Chinese?

E: How do you say "I am on the Smole" in Chinese?

F: If you worked in a store, how would you say "welcome" in Chinese?

G: How would you say "Where is the hospital" in Chinese?

H: How do you say "please be quiet" in Chinese?

Q8: In Mission 2, who visited the same household as the Mole?

A: Jae-heun Baek

B: Milan Lombardy

C: Savannah Pittsburgh

D: Paula Mosely

E: Cairo Kong

F: Joe Abberg

G: Brandon Alridge

H: Edward Smith

Q9: The Mole did Mission 2 with another contestant, the "partner". Which of these is the Chinese name of the partner's Chinese teacher?

A: 袁子怡

B: 袁陆

C: 司马枝

D: 吴秀

E: 王登

F: 王玛雅

G: 裴矮

H: 裴伟

Q10: Who is the Mole?

A: Jae-heun Baek

B: Milan Lombardy

C: Savannah Pittsburgh

D: Paula Mosely

E: Cairo Kong

F: Joe Abberg

G: Brandon Alridge

H: Edward Smith

***

"It is time to see another standing. Vote for who should see it."

Cairo: "I'd like to have a turn."

Paula: "I want it."

Fred: "Think about it, Paula. The later you see, the more reliable the result."

Paula: "...Fine, but then why do you want to see so early, Cairo?"

Cairo: "Being a noble martyr for you all."

"Cairo Kong, you are the..first."

Cairo: "Yes!"

"Dismissed."

***

Edward: "You're so lucky, Cairo. You must have gotten it already."

Cairo: "I heard you saying you had social anxiety the other day. I don't quite believe you. I'm not even sure if it is an actual disease."

Edward: "Oh. I'm used to it."

Cairo: "But if it's true, I'm willing to lend a helping hand. Know that if you ever need help, you can come to me."

Edward: "Noted. Thanks Cairo."

Cairo is first! Did the corrections help? Has he gotten the right Mole?

29.03-Speak Simlish

Previously, the contestants visited the Scholar's Garden. They picked a book to read within an hour, hoping that they did not pick the same book as the Mole. Unfortunately, Paula and Joe picked the Mole's book, and Brandon failed to finish reading in time, so 100/160 points were earned. It was revealed that Joe was ranked second in the first quiz. How will everyone react with this new information?

***

Edward: "I have an idea. I will pretend to be mentally ill. I know I shouldn't be faking it and it's disrespectful but I want to see how others will react. My uncle had schizophrenia and everyone was not very forgiving. We did not even know about this condition for a long time and when we did, we did not have the money to treat him. I hope to raise awareness. Maybe I shall pretend to have social anxiety. I did some research on the computer in here and that feels the closest and most believable."

Joe: "You're a linguist? That's impressive. What languages do you know?"

Savannah: "I can speak Chinese, French, Dutch, Malay, Spanish..."

Joe: "Wow. I feel so average."

Savannah: "Don't be. It took years to pick these up. I had to learn them since I often found myself doubling up as a tour guide and speaking to foreigners a lot."

Fred: "Delicious."

Cairo: "Slow down. You're getting food crumbs everywhere."

Fred: "Sorry. I forgot that I am still on TV. I must maintain my image. Sigh."

Cairo: "Must be tough to keep caring about the audience and your image all the time."

Fred: "It is...I mean, I am very honoured to even be the admiration of many fans."

Cairo: "Object of admiration, but I get your point."

Fred: "But I am a person, not a thing?"

Paula: "Now scram!"

Miriam: "Alright, alright. Don't need to go around destroying their luggage and smacking others."

***

Let's just pretend that all the others here are part of the crew or tour guides and translators.

Cairo: "Fred is right. I must look good on camera."

***

Milan: "I will keep an eye on Brandon. You watch out for Fred."

Cairo: "Got it. But would they really cast Fred as the Mole? He seems very uptight about his reputation."

Milan: "Shh! Somebody is coming."

Milan: "You look ugly. Why do you not wear shoes? Your feet must be stinky and smelly."

Cairo: "What? How dare you insult me and hurt my pride like that!"

Milan: "He is gone now. But I mean it."

Cairo: "Whatever."

Paula: "OI! SCRAM!"

Brandon: "I don't have to move because you told me to."

Paula: "You whitewashed boy toy, get out of my way before I throw your belongings down the window."

Brandon: "You dare?"

Paula: "I already have."

Brandon: "I'll get back at you one day. I promise that."

***

Milan: "Fred...tell me more about yourself. We will be together for a while."

Fred: "I am Fred Page, this year I am--"

Milan: "Tell me someding I don't already know."

Fred: "Eh? I am a hallyu pop sensation. I can sing and dance and..."

Milan: "Hallyu? Speak Simlish."

***

Contestants are off for their next mission. They can visit anyone in Shang Simla to learn Chinese. They will then be quizzed on a few words and for every word they get correct, they earn 10 points. This is worth 240 points in total.

***

Savannah: "We paired up for the mission. This is to prevent the Mole from being able to freely sabotage. I was with Cairo. I already know Chinese so I don't have to learn so I can keep an eye on him."

Savannah: "早安。"

Wu: "You are from the Smole? You can speak Chinese already."

Savannah: "Yes but my friend here cannot. 麻烦你教他一下。而且看紧他一点，不要让他偷懒。如果他看起来有什么疑问的话，马上追问和纠正。谢谢。"

***

Paula: "This is such a waste of time learning Chinese."

Milan: "Anybody home?"

Brandon: "Maybe they don't speak Chinese?"

Milan: "How you ask in Chinese?"

***

Maya: "你好吗。"

Joe: "泥号马."

Maya: "Listen to the tone."

Joe: "Hey Edward, why not you approach that guy?"

Edward: "But I don't know him."

Joe: "So? We've already started. I don't want to restart."

Edward: "Okay..."

Edward: "Um..."

Deng: "My name isser Wang Deng. I will teacher you."

Deng: "Let usser starter with numbersser."

Deng: "Onner to tenner isser 一二三四五六七八九十。"

Edward: "Could you slow down? I didn't quite catch that."

***

Brandon: "I can't believe that we came all the way here for nothing. Nobody's home!"

Milan: "You suggested it."

Brandon: "So you're blaming me now? Ugh, then why not you go find another residence that's actually with residents?"

Savannah: "听说这里有温泉超舒服的。”

Zhi: “这里的温泉的确出名，但是很偏僻的，在郊外。”

Savannah: "哦。。。。。。没关系，下次如果有时间的话我自己慢慢探险。谢谢你，司马枝姐。”

Cairo: "没理得种国。"

Xio: "No."

Xio: "Remember the intonations. The first intonation sounds like a high note, the second intonation sounds like asking a question, the third one makes you sound like a robot and the fourth one is like a declaration or statement. It goes down. There's a fifth one but that's no intonation and sounds like Simlish."

Xio: "Now try it again."

Cairo: "美丽。。。。。。的中国。”

Xio: “太好了！终于开窍了！”

Cairo: "How do you say that you're a great teacher in Chinese?"

Xio: “你是个很好的老师。”

Cairo: "Learning Chinese wasn't easy and I was sure I could learn it by myself without any help. I mean, I still can, but Wu Xio is a great teacher. She is very patient and taught me very useful phrases like greetings and how to ask for directions. Yes, I'm half Honkee but I scantly know Cantonese. That's it."

***

Ai: “高，我快控制不了我的兽性了！快亲我！”

Gao: ”喂，裴矮，不要这样。在儿子和外人面前很尴尬的。”

Wei: "Please ignore my parents. Repeat after me. 我是白财昕。"

Fred: "What does that mean?"

Wei: "I am Baek Jae-heun. I know a bit of Korean."

Fred: "Why did you not tell me so?"

Wei: "I only know as much Korean as K dramas teach me. Anyway, try it."

Fred: "Wo she Baek Jae-heun."

Wei: "...close enough."

Paula: "You useless old man! Go and die!"

Paula: "You're supposed to teach me this stupid language and you can't speak Simlish?"

Paula: "And you're even shorter than your wife! I bet you depend on your wife for money!"

Fred: "그녀를 무시하십시오. 계속합시다."

Ai: “伟，这个疯女人凶巴巴的，像疯狗似的。快把她赶走。”

Wei: “不能啊，爸，她是客人。我必须教她。”

Ai: “随便意思意思就够了。反正他们也听不懂。”

Paula: "Isn't Fred Asian? I thought learning Chinese will be easy for him. Well, he sucks balls. All Asians speak Chinese. I bet he's sabotaging right now."

***

Ziyi: "My name is Yuan Ziyi and I will be your teacher for today."

Brandon: "Can you slow down?"

Milan: "She talks too fast. Wait for me while I go and find another insegnante."

Milan: "I am back. Let us begin."

Lu: "House is 屋子."

Ziyi: "Let us begin with a simple greeting: 好久不见！最近还好吗？别来无恙？"

Brandon: "Slow down."

Milan: "I cannot hear if everyone is talking at de same time. Please coordinare...speak de same ding."

Ziyi: "袁陆，不如让我先来吧。你就跟着我就好了。"

Brandon: "Why do you talk like a bullet train?"

Ziyi: "Let us re-begin. 好久不见！最近还好吗？别来无恙？"

Lu: "What she said."

Brandon: "What he said she said."

Milan: "Brandon and I wasted a lot of time trying to look for insegnantes. De best we could do was two children. I wanted us to learn next to each other to watch closely him but it became very noisy and confusing. The girl, she talks too fast."

Fred: "Phew. Paula, it's your turn."

Paula: "Finally. This granny can speak simple Simlish but she talks worse than my grandma."

***

Edward: "I cannot believe I am learning a new language."

Deng: "Letter me quizzer you. Whatter isser rabbitter calledder inner Chinesser?"

Edward: "Um..."

Edward: "兔子？"

Deng: "You arrer ready, my youngger grassihopper."

***

Contestants now return home to be quizzed. Each contestant is asked 3 questions. 

"What is 'rabbit' in Chinese?"

Edward: "I was just tested on this. 兔子."

"What is 'China' in Chinese?"

Edward: "Um...jong...中国."

"How do you say 'how are you' in Chinese?"

Edward: "Wait, I remember this...你好吗？"

"What is 'teacher' in Chinese?"

Cairo: "教师！No, wait...老师. Wait, I got this. I have to get this for my pride. 教师! Final answer."

"What is 'goggles' in Chinese?"

Cairo: "蛙镜."

"How do you say 'I am happy' in Chinese?"

Cairo: "我很快乐。I knew I'd ace this."

"What is 'correction' in Chinese?"

Savannah: "改正. Too easy."

"What is 'champagne' in Chinese?"

Savannah: "What? Erm, is it...山平？"

"How do you say 'I have lost my way' in Chinese?"

Savannah: "我失去了路。"

"What is 'fancy' in Chinese?"

Milan: "What is dis? I do not know. Pass."

"What is 'bookshelf' in Chinese?"

Milan: "书架."

"How do you say 'Save me' in Chinese?"

Milan: "I do not know. Dat boy did not teach me dis. He is useless."

"What is 'heart' in Chinese?"

Paula: "心。"

"What is 'butterfly' in Chinese?"

Paula: "You're all wasting my tame. 呼爹。"

"How do you say 'I am on the Smole' in Chinese?"

Paula: "What the f***? How do I say Smole in Chinese? I'm not going to answer this sicko question."

"What is 'camp' in Chinese?"

Brandon: "来."

"What is 'insidious' in Chinese?"

Brandon: "That's just not fair. I'm guessing here, but 恨."

"If you worked in a store, how would you say 'welcome' in Chinese?"

Brandon: "欢迎...wait, store? I think I heard this before...is it 欢迎光临?"

"How do you say 'name' in Chinese?"

Fred: "Ming zee...wait, 名字。I hope that is correct."

"What is 'crazy' in Chinese?"

Fred: "I know this. I was taught this...ah, 笨蛋."

"How would you say 'Where is the hospital' in Chinese?"

Fred: "医院在哪里. Am I right?"

"How do you say 'risk' in Chinese?"

Joe: "冒险."

"How do you say 'coffee' in Chinese?"

Joe: "咖啡."

"How do you say 'Please be quiet' in Chinese?"

Joe: "请安静."

Results:

Edward answered three questions correctly. 

Cairo answered three questions correctly.

Savannah answered one question correctly.

Milan answered one question correctly.

Paula answered one question correctly.

Brandon answered one question correctly.

Fred answered two questions correctly.

Joe answered three questions correctly.

Altogether, 150/240 points have been earned, bringing the pot to 250/400 points. Savannah earns a correction for getting the question on corrections right.

Brandon: "Didn't Savannah say this will be a piece of cake for her? And she only answered one question correctly. Either it's her cockiness that caused her downfall or she's playing. And because so many only got one right, she thinks she can hide in the shadows. No way, Savannah. Not letting you hide in plain sight."