The Smole: April 2019

In the previous episode...

Tiffany: "Why didn't we work together from the start? We should totally do it."

Charlemagne: "I am okay."

~~~

Richard: "An instruction card. There are only two left."

Richard: "Interesting."

~~~

"Your time starts now."

Maximillian: "Are we not going to discuss this first?"

~~~

Charlemagne: "吹雪だった。卵を探すのは干し草の山の中で針を探すのと同じです。It was a snowstorm. Looking for eggs is the same as finding a needle in the mountain of hay."

~~~

Charlemagne: "Oh no."

Charlemagne: "A dog!"

~~~

Clarice: "You can't run from me!"

Clement: "You're just a girl. You ain't outrunnin' me."

Clarice: "You'll regret saying that."

Clement: "Ah...ah....achoo!"

Clarice: "Gotcha. Now stay put."

~~~

Howard: "There's an egg. I'll just lay low nearby and wait for someone to come."

~~~

Howard: "I got stunned by a freaking baseball. I should have known things weren't that simple. At least it made things more thrilling."

~~~

Maximillian: "Tiffany ended up being more of a liability. She didn't help at all during the mission and worse still, I had to save her. After saving Clement, he also decided to run off on his own. He's just going to get caught again."

~~~

Melinda: "Aah! Stay away!"

Melinda: "Oh no!"

Melinda: "I've been cornered."

~~~

Richard: "Caught you."

Clement: "Oi, no fair! Go catch someone else!"

Richard: "There's no such thing as fairness in war."

~~~

Maximillian: "Look what we have here."

~~~

Lucy: "Caught you. I'll be staying here to make sure nobody tries to unfreeze him."

~~~

"There are 10 eggs in total. You have managed to find all the eggs, so that is 100 points for the pot. The pot now has 150/200 points. A very stellar performance."

~~~

"There was also a hidden exemption to be found. Unfortunately, nobody found it."

The contestants did wonderfully well in the mission, earning the full 100/100 points. The pot is full with 150/200 points and the mood is good. However, as the execution approaches things begin to get tense again, especially when all of them lost out on a chance to exempt themselves. Who will be executed next?

Ignatius: "Sigh."

Richard: "You're never going to live it down."

Ignatius: "I know."

Tiffany: "I'll see it every day and remember the day when Ignatius thought a mushroom was an exemption."

Richard: "Why do you insist on keeping it anyway?"

Ignatius: "The Watcher leads me to what he wants to show me. There is a reason He brought me to it."

Richard: "Whatever you and you damn Watcher says."

Ignatius: "Blasphemy!"

Tiffany: "You've done it again, Richard. Now he's going to go on a rant about how we are all under the Watcher's control and there's an invisible plumber above us."

Ignatius: "Plumbob. Do you guys not see it?"

Tiffany: "Hey, if those magic 'shrooms are making you happy, don't let me stop you."

Ignatius: "I'm not Mario."

Richard: "She meant you were using drugs. Weed, pot..."

Ignatius: "I am the Watcher's creation. I am infallible unless He chooses to."

Tiffany: "LOL. I can't believe Ignatius thought a random plant was the hidden exemption. It's so funny. Oh, I should call him Iggy, like Iggy Azelea. Ignatius is just too many syllables."

Melinda: "Lucy likes to keep to herself a lot. I wish she would stop trying to be so mysterious."

Charlemagne: "なぜあなたはそんなにかわいそうに見えますか？Why do you feel sorry for you?"

Melinda: "Sorry?"

Melinda: "If you mean why I look so glum, it's because of our roommate Lucy. I try to talk to her but she keeps shutting me off. It's like she's hiding something."

Charlemagne: "Do you think she is a mole?"

Melinda: "I don't know. She's just so hard to understand."

Charlemagne: "Do you have those leftovers? Why are you eating leftovers?"

Melinda: "It's in the fridge but it's a little cold. My cooking isn't that great anyway. I shouldn't make all of you suffer my horrible cooking."

Charlemagne: "You are very humble. You are very different from your son."

Charlemagne: "You are the mother of Richie Rich. Why are you still working as a waitress?"

Melinda: "I don't like to disturb him. He has a life ahead of him. I don't want to embarrass him by letting the whole world know that he has an average mother like me."

Charlemagne: "Why are you here?"

Melinda: "Because he encouraged me to. And at least if I appeared on a show like this I would seem cooler so I'm helping him. Waitressing is just a way to keep me occupied, though I'm on very thin ice with the manager right now."

Melinda: "Probably the only reason why I haven't been fired for messing up so much is because of Richie."

Charlemagne: "My mother is selfless."

Melinda: "All mothers are."

Charlemagne: "Hai. That is what I mean."

Richard: "They should have invested in treadmills and other gym equipment this season. At least some dumbbells."

Clarice: "At least we have the fitness channel."

Richard: "I'm sure you didn't come in here simply to exercise with me."

Clarice: "Retirement from service hasn't dulled your senses."

Richard: "I don't like the sound of this. You have one minute before I kick you out of my room."

Clarice: "Can we form a coalition? I think we get along well and complement each other."

Richard: "So this is what it's about."

Richard: "It's a wise choice to approach me. Having a coalition will always be useful."

Clarice: "Can we keep it secret?"

Richard: "I think the others will catch on very quickly, but if you insist then I'm fine with trying to hide our coalition."

Clarice: "I can't take chances. Howard is becoming increasingly suspicious each day. If I ally with alone he'll be feeding me lies. That's why I decided to form a side coalition with Richard in secret. He seems like a man with a lot of experience, and older men generally give me a sense of security...this just got weird. They don't, okay? I merely tolerate their presence. Bye."

Ignatius: "I decided that this house needs some purification. I have figured out that my purpose here is to show the rest the light and teach them. Today, I will begin my very first mass session. I pulled in a few who I felt needed it most. By the end of the season they will be enlightened."

Clement: "Err...howdy. Am I interruptin' somethin'?"

Ignatius: "Not at all. You're just in time for a daily mass session."

Howard: "Looks like we came in at the wrong time then."

Ignatius: "No, stay."

Clement: "You too, Lucy?"

Lucy: "I'm just here studying my journal. I haven't actually paid attention to what he was saying."

Maximillian: "I'm not caring about him either. I have better things to do."

Ignatius: "Come and sit with me. I have a few copies of the Sim-Bible. Perhaps the two of you will make better disciples."

Ignatius: "Flip to Page 47. Repeat after me..."

Ignatius: "And the Watcher brought us food and water. He built great cities with His bare hands, sending us warmth and comfort at His click."

Clement: "I don't feel good about this..."

Howard: "...And then it killed everyone and everyone died. The end."

Ignatius: "Excuse me?"

Ignatius: "You insult the Watcher by taking this lightly."

Howard: "Light? Hell no. This story book is heavier than an encyclopedia."

Ignatius: "It is not a story book! It is the Sim-Bible!"

Clement: "Does this mean the session is over?"

Ignatius: "Do you not realise we are but Sims? Why do you think we can sometimes walk into a room and forget what we are doing? It is because He cancelled the action. Why can we continue to sleep till a certain time even when our sleep motives are maxed? It is because of Him!"

Ignatius: "There is a Plumbob floating above all of us. It changes colour according to our mood and is what the Watcher uses to control us."

Ignatius: "It is above you now. The Watcher has selected you!"

Howard: "I don't see anything."

Clement: "This Watcher dude sounds like a dictator."

Ignatius: "We are at his mercy."

Ignatius: "You all think this is a joke? Beware the Watcher's wrath. If you ever find yourself locked in a 1x1 room with no door, it will be of your own undoing!"

It is time for the quiz. 10 questions about the identity of the Mole. Whoever knows the least is executed.

Q1: Is the Mole male or female?

A: Male

B: Female

Q2: What is the Mole's weight?

A: 44kg

B: 46kg

C: 57kg

D: 59kg

E: 74kg

F: 88kg

G: 70kg

H: 60kg

I: 42kg

J: 73kg

Q3: What is the Mole's favourite colour?

A: Black

B: Sea Foam

C: Spice Brown

D: Aqua

E: Red

F: White

G: Yellow

H: Lime

I: Blue

Q4: Which of the following describes the Mole best?

A: The Google Translated

B: The Floater

C: The Shy Cowboy

D: The Believer

E: The Bane Of The Smole

F: The Changed Man

G: The Perfectionist

H: The Disgruntled Armyman

I: The Woman Behind Successful Men

J: The Loner

Q5: Which floor does the Mole sleep on at night?

A: Bottom floor

B: Top floor

Q6: In Mission 3, in which order did the Mole take an instruction card?

A: First

B: Second

C: Third

D: Fourth
E: The Mole did not take an instruction card

Q7: In Mission 3, how many contestants did the Mole catch?

A: 0

B: 1

C: 2

D: The Mole was a collector

Q8: How many times was the Mole caught in Mission 3?

A: 0

B: 1

C: 2

D: The Mole was a catcher

Q9: In Mission 3, how many eggs did the Mole collect?

A: 0

B: 1

C: 2

D: 3

E: 4

F: The Mole was a catcher

Q10: Who is the Mole?

A: Lucy Neuwark

B: Melinda Rich

C: Richard Xyz

D: Clarice Sanford

E: Howard Babarossa d'Kellie

F: Maximillian Young

G: Ignatius Fandango

H: Clement Oakley-Wakefield

I: Tiffany Etsoos

J: Charlemagne Moon

"Contestants, today is the day where you bid farewell to another contestant. Half of you could have been exempted, but nobody is this time. Who will be executed?"

"Richard Xyz."

"Maximillian Young."

Melinda: "Congratulations. That was scary."

Maximillian: "I think I get the hang of this game."

"Charlemagne Moon."

Charlemagne: "Hai!"

"Melinda Rich."

"Lucy Neuwark."

"Tiffany Etsoos."

"Clarice Sanford."

"Only three men are left. One of the three will be executed today."

"Ignatius Fandango."

Ignatius: "My fate lies in the hands of the Watcher."

"Ignatius Fandango, unfortunately you have been executed. Please pack your bags and leave."

Ignatius: "If that's the way it shall be, I accept. Perhaps my purpose here is complete, and I am no longer needed here. The glowing mushroom must have been a sign, foreboding my big bang, like a firework in the night. Religion is all I ever had, but none of you understand. I bid thee adieu, and may the Watcher guide you to all your goals."

Clement: "We're safe!"

Howard: "Safe from Ignatius's terrorism!"

Tiffany: "Oh no not Iggy!"

Maximillian: "Oh!"

Maximillian: "This comes as a surprise to me. He was so cryptic and mysterious, I thought he may be the Mole."

Tiffany: "Iggy's actually really nice once you get to know him. He brought so many funny moments with him, like his exemption mushroom and talk about plums in the air. I will miss my short cute roommate."

Richard: "Ignatius was crazy. And crazy is what you need to be in this game. At least he gets a mushroom to remember his time on the Smole."

Melinda: "Ignatius was a nice guy. He was so morally upright. Deep down I think I respected him and his parents for raising him so well."

"Thank you for joining, Ignatius. We hope to see you soon."

The Watcher has brought Ignatius thus far and his journey must end here. For several more contestants, their journey must also be cut short one by one, except for the Mole. Who is the Mole?