The Smole: 44.04-It's not meant to be

In the previous episode...

Howard: "Ehh, Clarence may be gone but it isn't all bad. At least I saw his journal before he left and know where his mind was at. The only issue I have is that he wrote so much that it was hard to sift through the important points and who he really suspected. Did he suspect everyone he wrote about? Or were there a few that stood out to him?"

Tiffany: "Lindsey, Vera and I have decided to work together. We're gonna dominate this with girl power! Too bad Lucy was too antisocial to join us. Like, what's not to trust about the three of us?"

~~~

Ignatius: "I need to find some holy water immediately. You must be cleansed and see the true light."

Maximillian: "She's joking."

Charlemagne: "Unfortunate."

Maximillian: "You want her to be Satanic?"

~~~

Tiffany: "Howard, did you just see that?"

Howard: "See what?"

Tiffany: "Exactamundo. Vera ignored me. I thought we were BFFFs! And I'm a celebrity! How could anyone ignore me?"

~~~

Vera: "Hey! I was watching it!"

Clarice: "Your questionable tastes aside, even if you're sleeping here now, you should be sleeping on that bed instead, not my bed."

Vera: "Nuh-uh. You and your cuddle buddy can sleep on top of each other on that bed."

Clarice: "How did--ARGH!"

Clarice: "No use getting mad at her. Doing things when you're angry only leads to a path of regret."

~~~

"Clarice, you have been given a vial of poison. This poison will cause a stomach upset. You may choose to poison any of the following cups."

~~~

Howard: "If we want to win points, we should prolong this. But if I want the exemption, I should cut it short."

~~~

Richard: "That means..."

Richard: "I've been poisoned!"

Melinda: "I'm so close. There's no way I'm throwing in the towel now."

Ignatius: "Thank you, Watcher, for giving me good luck thus far. Please help me one more time."

~~~

"Both of you have been poisoned, so nobody gets the exemption. However, 50 points have been earned."

The contestants had to poison each other in the previous mission. After four rounds, nobody survived, but the group walked out of The Blue Lagoon 50 points richer. Who would have benefitted from the exemption?

Ignatius: "Melinda can be quite competitive if she's riled up. It is too bad that I didn't get the exemption but if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be."

Maximillian: "Oh...oh dear."

Maximillian: "I hope this doesn't air."

Maximillian: "My fiancee won't be happy."

Maximillian: "I found myself spooning Lindsey this morning. I can explain! I was homesick and dreaming of my lovely fiancee...I should stop talking. This is so embarrassing."

Maximillian: "A morning shower feels so good."

Lindsey: "Hi there. We meet again."

Maximillian: "What the hell? Don't you know there's someone in here?"

Lindsey: "All I know is that this bathroom is made for more than one to use at a time. Hence the two showers? And I thought you were smart."

Charlemagne: "Good morning."

Clement: "Mornin'. Er...want some breakfast?"

Charlemagne: "No."

Charlemagne: "I have to use the toilet."

Clement: "Sigh...only my wife and kids will appreciate my cooking."

Clement: "So...this is weird. I just talk to myself? I'm not used to being on camera. Why did I even join? I was getting comfy with my life in the countryside. Every day, just me, my wife, my lovely daughter and the god-damn majestic horses. Then Brooklyn's god-damned school had to bring her for a field trip and she saw an episode of the Smole. Now Daddy's here. But Daddy'll make you proud, girl. Why did I come in here again?"

Clarice: "How are you able to eat that? I need proper food to function."

Richard: "Back in my days, you'd be glad to even have food."

Maximillian: "It gives it the extra crisp."

Lindsey: "Ew, it reeks of testosterone in here."

Clarice: "I'm here, you know."

Lindsey: "Oh, I know. That looks revolting. Who made it?"

Lindsey: "I feel like puking just looking at it."

Clement: "You don't like it, don't eat it."

Lindsey: "What makes you think I will? I don't just eat anything, you know."

Ignatius: "I can feel my green bar filling."

Howard: "Priests are weird."

Melinda: "Oh dear. It's so late! How is Lucy still asleep?"

Melinda: "That one poison is really strong."

Lucy: "What are you on about so early in the morning?"

Melinda: "Early? It's so late!"

Lucy: "It's only 10am. You disturbed my sleep."

Lucy: "I'm not used to waking up so early."

Lucy: "The night's when I feel most refreshed."

Melinda: "So you're a night owl?"

Lucy: "Yeah. I go out at night and come back only in the wee hours of the morning."

Melinda: "That's dangerous to be out at dark."

Lucy: "Not really. Darkness can be beautiful. You just need to know how to appreciate it."

Tiffany: "So glad we decided to sneak away from Lindsey. She's way too serious."

Vera: "She needs to back off a little. We'll be fine. We won't get executed so quickly."

Vera: "Ooh, they're showing 50 Shades of Grey!"

Tiffany: "You like that show?"

Vera: "I love it. Especially when Grey and Ana first meet."

Tiffany: "Hmm, are you secretly a pervert?"

Vera: "Me? No way. I just like to be myself."

Vera: "If I like something, I'm not afraid to show it."

Tiffany: "I can respect that. No wonder we're in a coalition."

Vera: "By the way, you're gonna help me in the quiz right? Tell me who you think it is and all your answers?"

Tiffany: "Me? I was going to ask you the same thing."

Tiffany: "I haven't done any studying yet. That's too much effort."

Vera: "I just thought about something. What if the Mole is actually Lindsey?"

Tiffany: "No way!"

Tiffany: "That picture looks like 1000 years old!"

Vera: "Are you even listening to me?"

Lucy: "Nobody's going to care about the next execution?"

Lindsey: "We do. That's why we're here enjoying ourselves in case it's our last time."

Howard: "At least I know I won't be executed."

Lindsey: "Who died and made you Mole?"

Howard: "I'm just saying...look at Clarence. He's your typical nice guy and he's dead last. Nice guys finish last."

Lucy: "You're not a nice guy?"

Howard: "I'm not who you think I am."

Lindsey: "Maybe you like a quick job but I prefer someone who can ride with me till the end."

Howard: "Was that a euphemism?"

Lindsey: "Wow, cocky and dirty-minded. That's not a good look for you."

Lucy: "Her wit's as sharp as her tongue. I suggest you stop talking or you'll embarrass yourself further."

Lucy: "It's nice to know that you're not a nice guy though. Neither am I."

Lindsey: "That was evident when you flat-out rejected the coalition. Now I'm stuck with two bimbos who ran off to who-knows-where."

Lindsey: "But if you're not a nice woman, have you, I don't know, considered changing?"

Lucy: "For what? I'm not a good woman. And I accept that."

Howard: "Amen."

Lindsey: "Has Ignatius corrupted you?"

Charlemagne: "Good music."

Clement: "Glad you can appreciate it. Let me show you my moves."

Charlemagne: "Nice."

Charlemagne: "However, I like stone more."

Clement: "You mean rock, right?"

Charlemagne: "Hai."

Clement: "Y'know, crazy lips aside, you're not too bad after all."

It is time for the quiz. 10 questions about the Mole's identity. Whoever knows the least is executed.

Q1: Is the Mole male or female?

A: Male

B: Female

Q2: How old was the Mole when the Mole first joined the Smole?

A: 24

B: 25

C: 26

D: 27

E: 31

F: 34

G: 39

H: 42

I: 48

J: 53

K: 55

Q3: What is the Mole's occupation?

A: Part-time DVD shop employee

B: Philosopher

C: Masseuse

D: Waitress

E: Yoga Instructor

F: Criminal

G: Lawyer

H: Priest

I: Stablehand

J: Painter

K: Unemployed

Q4: In Mission 2, which car was the Mole in?

A: Red

B: Blue

Q5: Who did the Mole first successfully poison in Mission 2?

A: Lucy Neuwark

B: Lindsey Lorraine Shaw

C: Melinda Rich

D: Richard Xyz

E: Clarice Sanford

F: Howard Babarossa d'Kellie

G: Maximillian Young

H: Ignatius Fandango

I: Clement Oakley-Wakefield

J: Tiffany Etsoos

K: Charlemagne Moon

L: Vera Control

M: Nobody

Q6: In the first round of Mission 2, in which order did the Mole poison the drinks?

A: 1st

B: 2nd

C: 3rd

D: 4th

E: 5th

F: 6th

G: 7th

H: 8th

I: 9th

J: 10th

K: 11th

L: 12th

Q7: In Mission 2, in which order did the Mole take a cup in the first round?

A: 1st

B: 2nd

C: 3rd

D: 4th

E: 5th

F: 6th

G: 7th

H: 8th

I: 9th

J: 10th

K: 11th

L: 12th

Q8: How many rounds did the Mole last in Mission 2?

A: 1

B: 2

C: 3

D: 4

Q9: How many doses of poison did the Mole drink in Mission 2 in total?

A: 1

B: 2

C: 3

Q10: Who is the Mole?

A: Lucy Neuwark

B: Lindsey Lorraine Shaw

C: Melinda Rich

D: Richard Xyz

E: Clarice Sanford

F: Howard Babarossa d'Kellie

G: Maximillian Young

H: Ignatius Fandango

I: Clement Oakley-Wakefield

J: Tiffany Etsoos

K: Charlemagne Moon

L: Vera Control

"Contestants, I am sure you are familiar with this. Ignatius, Melinda, one of you could have gotten the exemption but tonight both of you are sitting here. Did one of you need the exemption?"

"Clement Oakley-Wakefield."

Clement: "Hope it's not me."

Clement: "Yeehaw! All the best, y'all."

"Please call another contestant in."

"Richard Xyz."

"Ignatius Fandango."

Ignatius: "I will accept whatever the Watcher has planned for me."

"Charlemagne Moon."

Charlemagne: "Hai!"

Clement: "Welcome to the club, Moon."

Charlemagne: "Thank you."

Ignatius: "The Watcher has not forsaken any of us yet."

Richard: "Shut up and keep watching."

"Lucy Neuwark."

Lucy: "It better not be me."

"Clarice, welcome. There are seven of you left. Who shall we reveal next?"

"Melinda Rich?"

Melinda: "If I leave now I'll be so upset."

"Maximillian Young."

"Five of you left."

Vera: "This is taking too long."

Howard: "Have patience."

Clarice: "Now you know how I felt last time."

"Clarice Sanford."

"Howard Babarossa d'Kellie."

"Tiffany Etsoos, Vera Control, Lindsey Lorraine Shaw...the three of you are still awaiting your fate. It should be worth noting that there was a 3-way tie this time."

Lindsey: "No way."

"However, as your scores are cumulative, there is a clear distinction between the bottom and the rest."

Vera: "One of us from the coalition is going home. Any Syrians here? 'Cause you better leave while you have the chance and spare the other two of us."

"Tiffany Etsoos."

Tiffany: "I have to try and look composed for the camera."

Tiffany: "Whoopee! I wish both of you will join me on the other side but I have a preference on who I want to stay. Toodles!"

"Vera Control,"

"Lindsey Lorraine Shaw,"

"Watch the screen."

Lindsey: "When the host asked us both to watch our screens I thought...this is it. There's going to be another twist. Both of us will be safe, or we won't know our results until next episode and who leaves is determinate on the rest."

Lindsey: "What?"

"Lindsey Lorraine Shaw, Vera Control, both of you have been executed in a surprise double execution."

Vera: "This is horrible."

Clarice: "Woah. A double execution. I was not expecting that."

Tiffany: "No! I was hoping just Lindsey will leave but Vera too? My coalition has been destroyed in a second! Why did it have to be both of them? I must have been part of the tied three this quiz."

Clarice: "Can't say I'm sad to see Vera go. She was a bit much."

Maximillian: "The same for Lindsey. I'm actually pretty okay with this execution."

Melinda: "Guys...it's still a shame to see them go. They were so youthful and energetic, and it seemed like Lindsey especially knew where she was going."

Richard: "It is a shame, I suppose, that anyone has to leave, but that is part and parcel of the game. If Vera couldn't make good use of her second chance, it's her problem."

Clement: "It sure ain't gonna be the same with Lindsey gone now."

Lindsey: "Fuck. I'm still processing this. I was expecting a different twist, but a double execution? So early in the game? That's brutal. I do like this group, even Clarence. I only touched the tip of the iceberg here and I have to leave already? Damn this game is harsh. This has been a mindfuck season thus far. If I was a virgin before I wouldn't be now."

Vera: "That screen is just for Lindsey, right? Not me? I just came back. You can't get rid of me now. I was really hoping to use the money if I won to fund Trump's wall. He's the best president ever and I want to support him. Looks like I have to find another way."

Lindsey: "Oh, you're a Trumpet. That explains a lot."

Lindsey: "If you and Tiffany didn't run away we could have stood a chance. I was relying mainly on myself this quiz because you two didn't help."

Vera: "Too late to say that. It's your fault we lost."

Lindsey: "My fault?"

Lindsey: "You know what? Forget it. Let's just go. You look like a mess right now. More than usual."

Richard: "Just like that, the twist this season has ended. I knew Vera wasn't going to be of use bringing back."

"Thank you for joining. We hope to see you again."

Two ladies have been executed in a surprise double execution. Can Tiffany cope on her own? Who was the last one who tied?

Next episode...

Tiffany: "Moon, I bet it's you!"

Charlemagne: "Nani?"

Tiffany: "You're like...a jinx! You caused Lindsey and Vera's execution!"

~~~

Howard: "In every room was a note that said the first four to make it to the mailbox will get a special role for the next mission. I don't know when that was placed but I rushed out of there as soon as I saw it."

~~~