Thursday 5 December 2019

49.01-Grand Hotel Monte Vista



Welcome to the 49th season of the Smole! This season, 10 new contestants compete for a shot at money and glory. Each mission has the potential to add points to the pot, and the final amount will be multiplied by 1000 and given out as winnings. However, as usual, there is a Mole among them and the contestants must find out who the Mole is before it is too late and they are "executed".

This season's twist is that half the cast have been delegated celebrity status while the other half will be their bodyguards. If a celebrity scores the lowest in the quiz, his or her bodyguard has a 50% chance of being executed instead. This gives celebrities two lives in essence.

However, the bodyguards are not completely helpless. Before every quiz, they can gather together and "defect" by giving a penalty to one celebrity. If that celebrity scores the lowest and has a penalty, the celebrity goes home, sparing the bodyguard. This season forces cooperation, which is something Smole contestants have not been good at. Will this spell doom for them from the outset? Will the Mole thrive this season? Who is the Mole?











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Roxanne: "I'll be back soon Papa. And I'll do you proud."


Nicholas: "If I knew better I would think we'll be sleeping in this rundown shmack."


Phoebe: "A fresh start, away from everyone. This is just what I needed."


Glenn: "Hmm, this looks to be the place."


Glenn: "You've got this, Glenn. Just go in, win the money and go home and buy that house."


Gwen: "It's no Grand Hotel Monte Vista, but it's something. Ow!"


Gwen: "Watch where you're going!"
Jade: "Sorry...err..."


Jade: "Shouldn't I be the one saying that line? 'Cause, you know, you're the one with a blindfold on?"


Jade: "Why do you even have a blindfold on? How do you see?"


Gwen: "I'm used to seeing without my eyes. I don't even need to look at you to know that you're a boring, bland woman."
Jade: "Hey..."

***

Jade: "It hasn't even been 5 minutes and I already offended someone...actually, it's more like she offended me. I didn't quite catch her name. Gwendolyn? She's this weird woman in green who dresses like it's the middle of winter and is ready to hibernate. I don't know how she sees with a blindfold on. And she has the nerve to call me boring."

***


Nicholas: "This place is barely tolerable. They don't even know how to roll the red carpet properly. I was looking around the 'house', ready to choose a room, only to be told that this season our rooms are predefined for us. Pfft. Where's my freedom to choose? If I wanted to be told what to do I would go back to primary school. I could just quit right now, you know. And then you'll be short one contestant."

***


Nicholas: "Of course they would try to reserve the 'best' room for me. What a bunch of suck-ups."


Nicholas: "Wannabe suck-ups. I've seen storerooms more lavish than this room."


Kyle: "Woah, is that real gold?"


Nicholas: "Hmm, oh that piece of junk?"


Nicholas: "Gold-plated, maybe, but definitely not real gold."


Nicholas: "Let me inspect it a little more."
Kyle: "You should be careful with that. It could be expensive."


Kyle: "Oh no!"


Nicholas: "Ha! Gave you a scare, didn't I?"


Kyle: "Don't do that. It could be expensive."
Nicholas: "Expensive? A couple ten grand, maybe, but nowhere near expensive."


Kyle: "Who are you again?"
Nicholas: "How rude of me to not introduce myself, though I figured I didn't need the introduction. You're not from here, are you?"
Kyle: "I'm Korean-American."
Nicholas: "I could tell."


Kyle: "My name is Kyle Underwood and I"ll be your bodyguard. Can you tell me yours now?"
Nicholas: "Nicholas Penn. It's refreshing to not be fawned on, although I would prefer someone trying to gift me gold bars from the outset. Makes the experience somewhat more bearable."


Kyle: "If you seem to hate this so much, why are you even here?"
Nicholas: "I thought I'd come and play a commoner's game, you know? Saw last season that there were so many poor folks vying for the money that the winner had to split his earnings to not feel bad."


Nicholas: "Now it's my turn. Why did you join the Smole?"


Kyle: "I was born in America but my parents divorced when I was young. My mother brought me with her back to Korea and I lived there for most of my life. Recently I received a wedding invite from my dad. He remarried recently and I attended his wedding. I stayed a while after to re-explore my birthplace. My dad suggested I join the Smole because it was a big thing. He said--"


Nicholas: "It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, son. Everybody wants to be on the Smole. You'll gain valuable experience and grow as a person, yadda yadda."


Kyle: "That's...exactly what he said. How did you know?"


Nicholas: "Your parents are so predictable their story belongs in a soap opera. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find out if I'd rather shit in the woods."


Kyle: "Oh boy. This is going to be a loong journey."


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Evelyn: "You're a pharmacist? Awesome. I can tell we're gonna be great friends."
Roxanne: "Are you one as well?"
Evelyn: "No, but close. I'm a doctor. We're going to be great buds."


Evelyn: "Don't worry. With me as your bodyguard, you'll be in safe hands."

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Steven: "This is my room?"
Jade: "What's wrong with it? It looks beautiful."


Steven: "Nothing's wrong with it. Just that what am I going to do with an easel? Do you know how to use one?"
Jade: "Nope."


Jade: "I'm Jade by the way. I'm your bodyguard."
Steven: "The name's Steven."


Steven: "You're my bodyguard? I expected..."


Jade: "You expected a man? You expected someone more muscular?"


Steven: "Well, I didn't know what I was expecting. I trust you'll do a good job?"
Jade: "Just as long as you don't try to execute me."

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Phoebe: "I wonder why they put me as a celebrity. Do they...they don't...do they?"


Phoebe: "Who's there!"


Isaac: "Name's Isaac Estrop-Lixcilark. I assume you're my 'celebrity'?"


Phoebe: "Er...yes....what did you hear before coming in?"


Phoebe: "Hello?"
Isaac: "Mm, toasty."


Phoebe: "Er...hello? I was talking to you."


Isaac: "Really? I thought you were talking to yourself."


Phoebe: "Oh my."

***


Phoebe: "My so-called bodyguard has a giant skull on his back. I hope he's nice. And I really hope he didn't hear me talk to myself. It would be horrible if he did."

***


Isaac: "Sweet ride. I always wanted to drive a car this fast."
Phoebe: "Oh...I thought you were a motorcycle kind of guy."
Isaac: "You hardly know me."


Kyle: "Man, this is amazing! I would never even be able to dream of driving such a car. And it's in my favourite colour too!"
Nicholas: "You must be easily pleased."


Evelyn: "You're a good driver. You must have steady hands."
Roxanne: "What? Oh, yeah, I suppose."


Jade: "I feel like driving is my job as a bodyguard."
Steven: "You're not literally my bodyguard. I can do things myself."


Glenn: "You're not much of a talker, are you? That's fine I guess. What tunes do you want to listen to?"


Contestants have arrived at the destination of their first mission. They will be split into two groups: the bodyguards vs. the celebrities. This first mission can earn them 260 points, but only one group can earn it.


Each of them are first given 20 minutes to memorise the same set of poker cards. They must later take turns in trying to match two cards, with one group calling out a card's location and the other group locating the matching card. Every two cards matched earns 5 points. This back-and-forth will continue until one group fails. When this happens, the winning group must continue on to match the rest of the cards. From this point on, points will only be earned if all the remaining cards have been properly matched.


In the set are 4 identical joker cards. These cards can either be used to replace an existing card should contestants forget the matching card's replacement, or be matched with another joker card to get an exemption.



Isaac: "My memory isn't fantastic."
Roxanne: "We can do this. We need to cooperate. We can use mnemonics. I think as long as in each group, we take a different section, we can work more effectively."


Nicholas: "I'm not taking orders from you."


Isaac: "Do you really have that much faith in everyone else?"
Gwen: "Guys, I can't really see..."


Kyle: "Everyone, let's just concentrate. I think Roxanne has a good point. None of us can memorise 108 cards on their own, so we have to work together."


Steven: "Those joker cards are really versatile. Those are the most important to remember."
Glenn: "Oh hell no. Nobody's claiming an exemption. Not this early. We'll not be touching any of those jokers unless we can't remember, and even then it's only to continue the chain."


Phoebe: "Oh no. Now you've put that idea in everyone's mind."
Nicholas: "Oh sweetie, don't act like he didn't say what was on everyone's mind already."


Phoebe: "...Sweetie?"
Evelyn: "Sweetie?!"
Gwen: "Sweetie?"
Jade: "I'm impressed how the three of you can say the same word so differently."


Roxanne: "Guys! We're going nowhere with this. We just wasted 5 minutes. I still think tackling by section is the most effective. Who's with me?"


Kyle: "I am."
Glenn: "Me too."
Nicholas: "Damn. You're nothing if not persuasive, I'll give you that."


Roxanne: "There are 5 of us and 108 of them. That means..."
Glenn: "Each of us has to memorise 21.6 cards, or 22 cards."


Roxanne: "...Yes. Yes, that's right....thanks. You're good at mental math."

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"Time is up. Contestants, take your places."

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"We'll start with the celebrities. Call out a position."
Steven: "8."
"That is the 10 of clubs. Bodyguards, where is the corresponding card?"


Isaac: "Hmm...any ideas guys?"
Glenn: "Really? It's only the first card. It's the 59th card."


Isaac: "I'll take your word for it. 59."
"That is correct. Now call another position."


Isaac: "94."
"That's a joker card. Celebrities, you may call out any position, depending on whether you want points or an exemption."


Gwen: "42."
"That's another joker card. Congratulations Gwen. You have received an exemption."


Glenn: "I'll settle scores with you later...both of you."
Gwen: "Sorry Glenn. I thought we'd both get it since there were 2 cards."


Glenn: "Nobody touch any other jokers."
Nicholas: "And that worked out so well the first time."


"Gwen, call out another position."
Gwen: "1."
"That is the ace of clubs."


Evelyn: "I remember that one. The other ace is in the 30th position."
"That is correct."
Evelyn: "I'll call out 78."


"That is the ace of hearts."
Phoebe: "Err...was it 14?"
Roxanne: "No, it was one row above...I think it was 66."
Phoebe: "Okay. 66."


"That is correct."
Phoebe: "Oh right, it's me again...how about 85?"
"That is the jack of clubs."


Jade: "I actually know this. 23."
"That is correct."
Jade: "And for my next move, I'll call out 108, the very last card."


"That is the 4 of clubs."
Nicholas: "Eeny-meeny miny-mo..."
Roxanne: "I hope you're not serious."


Nicholas: "37."
"That is correct."
Nicholas: "Lucky guess. 106 should be an easy one. Let's call that out."


"That is the ace of spades."
Kyle: "107, right?"
"That is correct."
Kyle: "Okay...unlucky number 13."
"2 of spades."


Roxanne: "That...I didn't remember this section. Who was the one who remembered this?"
Steven: "Me...it was 2 cards apart...think it was 15. Or was it 17? No wait, pretty sure it was 15."
Roxanne: "Okay, then 15."
"That is correct."
Roxanne: "I'll call 47."


"That is the 3 of hearts."
Glenn: "Easy. 45."
"That is correct."

***


Gwen: "It's very strange that everyone's just jumping around instead of going in order when calling out new cards. And nobody wants to listen to me because I took an exemption. What was I supposed to do? Using it to take a card would screw the whole game over. We didn't need to do it so early. Now my own bodyguard is angry with me."

***


"That is indeed the king of clubs."
Kyle: "I'll call 43."
"That is a joker card."
Kyle: "Oh shit."


Roxanne: "Spare me the death glare, Glenn. I won't use it for an exemption. I'll use it to call a card that I'm not too sure of...103."
"That is the 5 of diamonds."
Roxanne: "Oh, so I was right."

***


Kyle: "We were doing so well. I was beginning to think that we actually stood a chance. Good thing we had smart peeps like Roxanne and Glenn."

***


"That is correct."
Kyle: "Nice. We're on a roll! Okay, I'll call...102."
"That is the queen of hearts."


Roxanne: "I know this...what was it...I know it appeared in my section...was it 89?"


"That is the 9 of hearts."
Roxanne: "No! So sorry guys. I swear I had it."
Nicholas: "I feel like swearing too. Doesn't change anything, does it?"


Roxanne: "This is my fault. How could I have forgotten?"


Roxanne: "Everyone was counting on me. I let them down."

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"Bodyguards, you have eliminated your celebrities. 37 pairs have been matched correctly, leading to 185 points in the pot. That won't be going anywhere anytime soon. However, to earn the remaining 75 points, you have to match the remaining pairs correctly by yourselves. Glenn, I need you to match the queen of hearts Kyle called."


Glenn: "87."
"That is correct. Isaac, I need you to match the 9 of hearts."


Isaac: "Guys, a little help here?"
Evelyn: "Can you do anything yourself?"


Isaac: "Fine. I'll just call a random number."
Glenn: "Wait!"
Isaac: "84."


"That is correct. Isaac, please call another card."
Glenn: "Phew."
Isaac: "That last card at the bottom is bugging me. 105 please."


"That is the 7 of clubs."
Evelyn: "Hmm...where was it? Was it 73 or 74?"
Glenn: "I'd go with 74."
Evelyn: "Okay. 74."
"That is correct."

Evelyn: "Nice save. How about 18?"
"That is the 8 of diamonds."


Glenn: "Damn. I forgot that one."
Jade: "We're doomed."


Kyle: "Just try to recall, guys."
Jade: "I'm trying but it's no use. Looks like I'll have to use the joker...it was at 20."


"That is the joker indeed. It is considered a match."
Kyle: "You shouldn't have done that."
Jade: "Why not?"
Kyle: "Because now we definitely won't be able to match the remaining cards. I don't even recall what the other card Roxanne used the joker was."


"Jade, please call another position."
Jade: "You should have said something earlier. It's too late now. Let's try to finish it. 3."
"That is the 8 of hearts."


Kyle: "9."
"That is the 3 of diamonds. Unfortunately, they don't match. The mission has ended. 185/260 points have been earned and Gwen gets the first exemption."


Evelyn: "I don't appreciate you throwing the game."
Kyle: "There was nothing we could do. We weren't going to make it anyway."


The group is off to a decent start in terms of points but a rocky beginning for their relationship. Will this affect the dynamics between celebrity and bodyguard?

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