17.03-You don't remember anything, so shut up

Previously on the Smole, 8 pairs came to join and after a day’s worth of settling in, they began their first mission, which tested their relationship. 100/150 points were earned and Isaiah won an exemption for Prissy and himself. Due to the lack of teamwork, Dominic and Dominica found themselves getting the first boot. Who shall be next?

***

Prissy: “Go and jump off the building. You’re retarded.”

Prissy: “I’m usually not that rude. I was rehearsing my lines for Isaiah’s big play, ‘Sass’. I’m acting as the lead, as usual—a sassy bossy woman. Specifically, the scene was me scolding a boy for telling me I was wonderful because of my red phone. What an awesome, talented brother. And an awesome talented me!”

Isaiah: “Oh my gosh Ryan! Where did you get that shirt? I love it! You have to tell me!”

Ryan: “Relax Isaiah. I bought it from the premium store that commoners never visit.”

Isaiah: “Why do you keep elevating yourself?”

Ryan: “Because I am the highest. Come, do the peasant walk with me.”

***

What’s dished out on the table:

Prissy: “I’m a star, you know. A prima donna, a diva.”

Dory: “I don’t remember you being that obsessed.”

Prissy: “You don’t remember anything, so shut up.”

Ryan: “Oh sucker hurry up and eat. I don’t know why  I have a sister like you.”

Viola: “We don’t need men.”

Tay: “Tell that to Taylor.”

Bernie: “Men are statistically proven to be superior to women.”

Tay: “Face it. You’re never going to get us on your side, Viola.”

***

 

Bernie: “Jacintha…you’re quite the mature woman, but you are scorching!”

Jacintha: “Thanks…I hope you don’t mean literally. Is it my clothing? It’s my native tribe’s.”

Ryanna: “I take boxing lessons. I’m a total nerd but I still take boxing lessons.”

***

Ryanna: “We newcomers should form a coalition.”

Kiki: “I was going to say the same thing! Let’s invite Bernice and Bernie, shall we?”

We have quite a couple of visitors for no good reason, so excuse them…

Prissy: “Mimi, you must love my shows right?”

Mimi: “I don’t go to theatres often…”

Prissy: “Oh. Well, you should. I’ll tell Isaiah to get you complimentary tickets for ‘Sass’!”

Mimi: “Is he hot?”

Prissy: “Erm…I am!”

Mimi: “Kiki and I have a passion: boy-hunting. Though I go for other cute things too. I’m not one to take the initiative and talk to strangers, so Kiki will help me get started. In fact, our common interest brought us to the same place and we ended up realising we were long-lost sisters!”

Jacintha: “We are warriors!”

Viola: “Absolutely. So we have a deal?”

Jacintha: “Yes. I am in a secret coalition with you.”

***

Isaiah: “Oh sorry.”

Ryan: “No, stay. It’s private here.”

Isaiah: “Oh, I see what you’re going to do…”

Ryan: “I think we hit quite off. I’ve seen all your plays and I love it. I want to join Heptametrics too!”

Isaiah: “Okay, I’ll sign you up. Let’s form a coalition, shall we?”

Ryan: “Definitely! Let me tell you some juicy gossip which I enjoy doing!”

Ryanna: “I think Isaiah is quite cute. I’m totally fangirling! I want his autograph!”

Dory: “What are you staring at, camera? I remember to brush my teeth. I have short-term memory. I remember long-term things.”

***

Jacintha: “So…we shall have a coalition?”

Bernie: “I do not know your intent in bringing this up so publicly, but okay. Just keep it from my wife.”

Jacintha: “That was for Viola’s ears. I am not particularly interested in keeping a coalition with Bernie, but he could be of use. And I do not want to lie to Viola. I want to be loyal. As for Dory…she’ll forget anyway so telling her would be of no use. I want to play this game too.”

***

 

This mission involves players to play ping-pong (there are only 4 tables because I originally thought doubles was possible). As long as players earn 5 points in their round, 10 points are added, so this is worth 280 points. The ultimate winner wins an exemption for the pair.

Prissy: “Whoops!”

***

Ryan: “Stupid game that only suckers play.”

Ryan lost to Dory, 6-11. Ryanna also lost to Isaiah, 3-11. 30 points have been earned so far.

Jacintha and Prissy are currently tied. Who will win?

Jacintha beats Prissy, 9-11. 50/60 points.

Viola: “Hiyaa!”

Viola: “For some reason I couldn’t find my athletic wear and I was rushing, so I put some random stuff on and went to do the mission. Real women don’t care about looks. They exude confidence and a heck-care attitude because we are independent of men.”

Bernie: “Where did it go?”

Dory: “Waaay over there….into the sea.”

Tay: “Yeah! I was a master at all sports, including ping pong. Actually I still am since I’m still young.”

Kiki: “Hey! I’m young too!”

Tay won Kiki, 7-11.

Isaiah: “Good game eh?”

Ryanna: “Meh, I can’t understand sports.”

Isaiah: “Neither can I. But the camera is filming us so we need to do something. Actor’s instinct.”

Mimi: “Bummer…”

Mimi lost to Taylor, 7-11. 90/100 points so far. Not too bad.

Viola: “I’m sorry. You have to keep up with times or you’re out.”

Viola wins Bernice, 6-11. 110/120.

Kiki: “Boo! Tay, hope you lose!”

Lysander: “Haha! Beat that old man!”

Bernie: “Impossible. I calculated the possibility of me winning.”

Lysander: “It’s only a possibility. Actuality and theory never coexist.”

Lysander wins Bernie, 4-11. 110/140 now.

Viola: “Okay, I do not need luck. I have skill.”

Mimi: “Tay. You let my sister lose.”

Tay: “Shut up ladies. You’re only a few years older so stop yapping. It’s distracting.”

***

Semi-finalists, excluding Lysander.

Taylor: “I need to pee!”

“That’s a forfeit. 110/160 points. Dory advances”

Dory: “Whut.”

Jacintha: “I hate to say this but I’ve been holding it in since forever. You win, Tay.”

“No points earned. 110/180 points now.”

Mimi: “Haha!”

Kiki: “Boo Jacintha!”

Viola and Isaiah are neck to neck!

Isaiah: “Love was in the air…it was distracting. I shan’t go into my random epiphanies I post routinely on Facebook, but know that love exists because of God. Want to know more? Follow me on Facebook!”

 

Tay: “I won Taylor.”

Taylor: “Woo! Go Tay! I’m on the bleachers~”

Bernice: “Let’s follow the youngsters and rekindle our love. NOW.”

Bernie: “Okay.”

Bernice: “Come. We shall do some business…in private.”

Mimi: “Who’s that making a ruckus and throwing heart-shaped petals over there? I want some!”

***

Final 4. One of them will bring home the exemption for the team. The Mole could be amongst them and be wrecking things.

***

Lysander: “Hmph! Cheater!”

Dory: “Woo! I won! Something! What was it again?”

Dory beat Lysander, 8-11. 130/200 points. Who will join Dory in the finals?

Ryanna: “Oopsies! I spent so much time trying to figure this game out I had a bladder accident!”

Viola: “Excuse me?”

“Oh my plumbobs! The Mole must be down here! You two have unwittingly forfeited, giving the exemption to Dory and Jacintha! There are now 130/240 points in the pot, totaling it to 230/390 points. The Mole is at work here.”

Tay: “Ryanna cost us! She did major sabotage here. I can’t believe her! It was quite a sacrifice but still she sabotaged! I could have been a defending champion if not for her! I can’t believe I lost to Dory. Viola, fine, I concede defeat, but Dory? She doesn’t even know what she’s doing? She just has nimble limbs, that’s all! I’m sure Jacintha would have wanted to win that fairly too.”

Dory: “Oh, it was nothing…really, because I forgot what happened.”

Oh now she goes to use the toilet. Too late, because it’s quiz time.