Wednesday 22 November 2017

36.07-Get off my lawn


Last time on the Smole, the contestants had to be split up. Paris, Sharon, Stephanie and Colt went around town dressed up as famous characters while Song, Bryan, Ainsley and James had to memorise hieroglyphs in a pool. In the end, none of their efforts mattered because Sylvester failed to stop the mission in precisely 4 hours, so 0/200 points were earned and the pot has 140/410 points. James's lackadaisical attitude cost him the game as he was the next to be executed. Only eight remain, but who is the Mole?

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Song: "I don't quite like how Ainsley wants to make a receipt or contract out of every 'transaction' as he calls it. I still remember the last time I told him something, he wrote a note and wanted me to sign on it to say that I was not bluffing him and I would take responsibility and be accepting of whatever punishment he deems fit if he found out I was lying, which I wasn't by the way. Of course I didn't sign that stupid piece of paper. He can take it or leave it."


Ainsley: "We haven't been faring well in the past few missions. And we must get to the root of the problem. Find out who exactly is to blame for this mess. I've found a few suspect individuals with pretty bad credit and I want to make them acknowledge what they have done. For example, I got Song to sign a statement that she would work harder in the future to make up for her error in the last mission."


Bryan: "Paris?"


Paris: "Hein?"


Paris: "It was raining last night. It is now very cooling. Like ze Himalayas."


Paris: "I want to visit ze Himalayas one day. But I need to save up ze money first. Ugh! I want to go now."


Sharon: "I am curious. Are your children watching the show?"


Colt: "I don't have children."
Sharon: "Really? I would expect that someone of your age be blessed with children to take care of you in your golden years."
Colt: "I told you I don't have any damn children!"


Sharon: "Okay, okay..."


Stephanie: "You and Bryan have been very close lately. Are you two in a coalition?"


Stephanie: "Or...are you having an affair?"


Song: "You're hilarious. I would never do that."


Song: "Yes, we're in a coalition but we're also friends. He's keen on acting so I'm helping him."
Stephanie: "I just worry...nevermind."

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Colt: "Paris is a spoilt brat. She's always complaining about stuff and whining. First it was over Yves. Now it's over the weather and how she wishes she was in the Himalayas but oh woe is she that she can't travel there! Don't expect good rewards when you help others. That's what I learnt. Some just think they become entitled to it. Like never mind if they're not reciprocating. At least appreciate it if others actually take the time to listen to your silly grouses."


Colt: "Stop acting like the world owes you a living."


Colt: "Pathetic loser."


Paris: "Why are you so mean?"


Paris: "It is just my dream to find love and travel to the Himalayas!"


Paris: "You are a rude old man."
Colt: "Oh it's my fault for bringing you the reality."


Paris: "You are just jealous because you cannot go there on your own and nobody will bring you. No wonder you grew up old and lonely."
Colt: "Now you've gone too far."


Colt: "Apologise to me at once."
Paris: "No!"
Colt: "Forget it. Spoilt rotten. So disrespectful."


Colt: "Pfft. Youngsters nowadays are so rude. I rather not want to deal with them...sigh."

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Sharon: "Oh how I miss them..."


Sharon: "I don't know how they're doing right now, or even what I'm doing right now."


Sharon: "Sometimes I still think about my family. You see, I'm divorced. My husband...ex-husband took custody of our children. All my life I've been taking care of my family. They're the centre of my universe. Now I suddenly feel so lost without them. Like, what do I do now? What is my purpose in life if not to look after them? I joined the Smole to hopefully find a new purpose but it's not really working out yet...at least preparing the meals and making the beds give me a sense of comfort, like I'm taking care of one big family."


Bryan: "Why is Colt sitting at the other table?"


Paris: "He iz very rude. Let us not let him spoil les appetits."


Colt: "They think that just because I'm old, I'm deaf."
Stephanie: "I'll...I'll go talk to him."


Stephanie: "Um...Colt? Do you..."
Colt: "No."
Stephanie: "But I haven't even said..."
Colt: "Scram. Get off my lawn."

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Contestants are ready for their next mission. They have chosen to split themselves into two teams to play a game of dodgeball...or dodge-whatever-is-thrown-at-you. For every contestant still around after 1 hour, 10 points will be added to the pot. This is worth 80 points. At the end of one hour, the team with more players still in the game will be the winning team. Out of the winning team, the survivors will get an exemption.


This is the first team.


This is the second team.


Bryan: "Ainsley originally tried to take charge and divide the teams by putting all the strongest players in one team while the weaker ones were dumped into another but I felt that that wasn't very fair. I wanted to balance things more so that everyone has a fairer chance of winning."



And they begin.


Sylvester: "Are you taking that one?"
Sharon: "Well..."


Sylvester: "Nevermind. I'll take the other one at the end."


Stephanie: "I..."
Colt: "What? Go find your own balls."


Bryan: "Aha. This should be a good spot."


Sharon: "Bryan's from the other team, right?"


Sharon: "Oh dear! That means I need to run!"


Song: "Rugby ball or soccer ball? I can't choose. Meeny-miny...mo. This one then."


Ainsley: "It nearly hit me."


Paris: "Dodgeball? I played it in high school PE. I want revenge."


Colt: "Argh!"
"Colt is eliminated."


Paris: "Eek! Who trew zat?"


Paris: "It nearly hit me."


Sylvester: "Darn. Almost caught it."


Bryan: "As long as he stays still..."


Sylvester: "My reflexes are better than that. I have a reputation to live up to, you know. And now it's time for payback."


Ainsley: "This is so obvious so I should use it to attack the weaker ones.'


Stephanie: "Oh dear. That soccer ball nearly hit me."


Stephanie: "Aah!"


Stephanie: "So close..."
Ainsley: "Why is my aim so shitty?"


Sylvester: "While she's distracted..."


Sharon: "I'll catch it...no wait, I'm not confident. I'm getting away!"


Song: "Dancing lessons have really paid off. I'm nimble enough to dodge and throw at the same time."

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Ainsley: "Tag-team, got it?"
Paris: "Tag team?"
Ainsley: "Just cover each other."


Bryan: "Good shot. Nearly got me."


Ainsley: "Paris, don't just stand there. Do something."


Ainsley: "I was observing throughout the mission. I tried not to invest too heavily into it."


Bryan: "I'm aiming for Paris. Since they're so close hopefully if I miss it'll still hit Ainsley."


Sharon: "Do I just pick this up and throw? I've never been good at sports."


Song: "Woah."


Paris: "You will not win!"
Sylvester: "We'll see about that."
Paris: "I will not take a traitor!"


Sylvester: "Is it bad that I forgot who was on my team halfway through?
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It's bad, isn't it?"


Sylvester: "Nice try, Paris. But you didn't throw hard enough. That's why it didn't go far."
Ainsley: "I have been placed in a disadvantageous position again. Watch your back, Sylvester. I will remember this."


Stephanie: "Here...here goes nothing..."


Ainsley: "Caught it."
Sylvester: "Darn why did you turn your body?"


Stephanie: "He caught it?"


"Stephanie is eliminated."

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Half an hour has gone. 5 water balloons have been introduced into the arena.


Sylvester: "I finally got you now."


Ainsley: "iAY! F*** you, my crotch!"
"Ainsley has been eliminated."
Ainsley: "It's really your allies you should be wary of. I tried to avoid him but still wasn't enough."


Sharon: "Paris, duck!"

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Sylvester: "Another frisbee for me to use."


Paris: "Almost caught it! Merde! So close."


Paris: "Aie!"


Paris: "Merde...Je suis tout doux et sale. Je n'ai pas l'air chic en ce moment. Tellement pathétique."


Song: "Oh no! Are you okay?"
Sharon: "Please don't hurt yourself."


Paris: "I am okay. I fall, I rise with grace."


Bryan: "The rules say I can only take one object at a time, so I'll take the one further away."


Bryan: "Argh...oh, I thought something hit me."
Sylvester: "It didn't hit him? But I was so close!"


Song: "I'll use it before anyone else does."
Paris: "Aie! Sharon, be careful!"


Sharon: "I'm tired. Did I hear someone call my name?"


Sharon: "Aah!"


"Sharon is eliminated."
Sharon: "I was tired anyway."


Paris: "I told you be careful, Sharon!"
Sharon: "Oh, you did? Sorry. I didn't hear you."


Song: "I'm proud of myself. I've been targetting her for quite a while already."

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Ainsley: "Watch out! Remember you are one against three, Paris."
Sharon: "I don't think that's fair of you to help."
Ainsley: "Is it fair that Sylvester turned on me?"


Colt: "Shut up. Is it fair that I'm the first to be eliminated?"
Ainsley: "Yes, and fairly logical too."


Paris: "Bleh bleh, you cannot eliminate me."


Sylvester: "Wanna try?"


Paris: "Oi! What are you doing?"


Paris: "Good thing you missed. I am your ally."


Song: "Rolling the ball is a smart move but I jumped in time."

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Two per team left, with ten minutes on the clock. Which team will prevail in the end?


Song: "Your team is going down!"
Bryan: "Pass me that baseball, Song."


Sylvester: "Where are all the stuff?"
Paris: "Be calm and aim. Je peux le faire."


Sylvester: "Psst! Paris, now is our chance. Throw on three. One, two..."
Paris: "Tree!"


Song: "Oof!"
Bryan: "Eugh it touched my leg."


Sylvester: "Yeah!"
"Song is eliminated. Bryan is eliminated. The mission is over."


"One team has been completely eliminated. Only two remain, Sylvester and Paris, both from the same team, so they each earn an exemption as well as 20/80 points, making the pot 160/490 points."


Sylvester: "My wrist hurts from all that throwing and flicking."


Paris: "We did good."
Sylvester: "Yeah we did."



Sylvester: "I don't know if anyone thought I was trying to play both sides. I just wanted to get an exemption and hopefully the less with an exemption, the better my odds."

Sylvester and Paris landed themselves an exemption after much effort so they are safe, but what about the rest? Find out in the next episode, where a surprise will be in store for everyone.

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