27.02-False sympathy

In the first mission this season, the ten contestants had to try and guess which contestant each first impression was referring to. Due to ambiguous rules and successful gaming of the system, they succeeded by revealing which first impression was theirs, clinching all 110 points. It's off to a great start, but for someone, it's also the end for them.

***

Tricia: "Miranda suggested exchanging phone numbers with everyone to keep in contact after the Smole. I declined. I strongly feel that phone numbers are a private business. It's like giving away your house keys to strangers or acquaintances you barely know. Once the damage has been done, there's no way to stop it. You can block the number but it's just going to end up in a blood-spattering mess. I don't know why everyone else is so stupid to just divulge personal information like that. You don't see them giving out credit card info to everyone on the street."

Miranda: "So you became a millionaire when you were in your early 20s? That's impressive!"

Owen: "It's all about ambition and drive. You can't settle for anything less than the great things you were meant to do."

Gus: "Hey, my cooking is impressive too! That's what my Momma always told me!"

Owen: "Shut up, Gus. I can cook ten times better than you."

Miranda: "You're amazing! What is there you can't do?"

Owen: "Nothing."

Gus: "I can't believe Miranda is actually fawning over that old man. How old is he? 100? He acts like he's seen the world twice and back over...whatever that crap means. I don't believe he's that great. And for f***'s sake, call me Asparagus! That's what my friends say my fart smells like. Wanna have a taste? Smell the asparagus. Taste the asparagus."

Sandy: "I was really hoping for the sun, the shine, the sand and the sea. Why did they have to film in Bridgeport? Their beach sucks! And why do we have to live in a hotel?"

Mallory: "Maybe we'll get to do that for a few missions. If it helps, you can stop staring at those pictures of nature."

Dorothy: "So, why do you dress like that? Are you a rebel? Do your parents approve?"

Wilson: "I'm undefined. I don't let labels define me. And my parents are long gone. Not that I cared what they thought. It's my life after all. Nobody can control how I want to live it."

Dorothy: "I'm sorry."

Wilson: "Don't be. I don't need no false sympathy."

Dorothy: "I didn't mean it that way...but it's pretty ironic, don't you think? That you're pretty stereotypical and defined, with that skull shirt and Mohawk of yours."

Wilson: "My hair's that way because I like it. If it happens to coincide with 'norms', then so be it."

Dorothy: "Pardon my frankness, but I really think it's irresponsible of you to not care about what others think You don't live in a bubble. There are obligations that you must fulfil."

Wilson: "Why must we betray ourselves to conform to society's standards?"

Dorothy: "I'd like to continue this conversation...okay, not really, but I need to use the toilet now."

Wilson: "Speaking of ass business, wanna see my bum tattoo? It will really complete that picture of yours."

Dorothy: "I'm sure you're not bad at heart, but I really wouldn't want to. Now, would you excuse me?"

***

Owen: "I must know why you think I'm old. I'm only 46, and I don't have a single strand of white hair."

Sandy: "I don't see any reason why you should be here. You're already rich and you're still vying with us for the money?"

Owen: "All's fair in--"

Sandy: "Shut up, preacher. I didn't come here for life lessons."

Wilfred: "You seem really hungry."

Mallory: "Sorry. I should really mind my manners, shouldn't I?"

Wilfred: "Do you really think I'm sexy?"

Mallory: "Of course. I adored you ever since I watched you in Phantom in the Opera! We were even supposed to perform together!"

Wilfred: "We were? Apologies. My memory must be failing me right now."

Mallory: "No, your memory is fine. I had chicken pox so they had to replace the lead actress last minute. It's such a shame. I've heard great things about you, and I was looking forward to performing onstage with you, but alas, I could only watch a recording of it in bed."

Mallory: "If you don't mind me asking, where are you from? You don't sound like a native."

Wilfred: "I am from Belgium."

Mallory: "Really? Your name doesn't sound anything like it."

Wilfred: "That's because my mother-remarried and took after her husband's surname, Melrose-Isetay. Anyway, since you missed an opportunity years ago, why not we perform?"

Mallory: "Now?"

Wilfred: "If you'd like. There's a karaoke machine in this hotel."

Miranda: "Hey Roy. Studying already?"

Roy: "Mm-hmm."

Miranda: "Why do you always seem so emotionless? Wait, scratch that. I meant to say: you seem very calm. The quiz is coming up soon and I did not prepare for the twist this season at all."

Roy: "There's nothing you can do if you're executed, so why not just take it in stride? I think it's best not to stress yourself too much. Speaking of which, I'm probably going to de-stress right now."

Miranda: "Sigh...they've got their lives figured out already."

***

Gus: "and it felt so good~"

Mallory: "Boo! You're horrible!"

Wilfred: "I wouldn't put it that way...but it does sound like crows are dying."

Gus: "You guys just can't appreciate music!"

Gus: "Oops. Let a little wind out from all that excitement."

Mallory: "Maybe if you stop slapping your butt you'd stop farting. Pew! Why does your fart smell like a stink bomb?"

Gus: "Relish it."

Wilfred: "Do you mind if we borrow the machine for a while?"

Mallory: "Let us show you how it's done."

Gus: "I'm all ears, b******."

Mallory: "

In sleep he sang to me

In dreams he came

That voice which calls to me and speaks my name

And do I dream again for now I find

The Phantom of the Opera is there

Inside my mind"

Wilfred: "Sing once again with me

Our strange duet

My power over you grows stronger yet

And though you turn from me to glance behind

The Phantom of the Opera is there

Inside your mind."

Mallory: "Those who have seen your face

Draw back in fear

I am the mask you wear"

Wilfred: "It's me they hear..."

Both: "Your (My) spirit and my (your) voice in one combined
The Phantom of the Opera is there (here)
Inside my (your) mind"

Sandy: "There you are!"

Gus: "Why are you staring at me like that, you b****? I can do the same too."

Sandy: "Look who's calling who a b****! I know you were peeping in the shower just now!"

Gus: "Say what now?"

Sandy: "I recognise your broccoli hair anywhere!"

Gus: "I think it's just a big misunderstanding, b****."

Sandy: "I'm calling the cops!"

Gus: "No, wait! I just happen to swear uncontrollably. It just rolls of the tongue. I thought I felt a shart so I ran to the toilet. I didn't realise you were inside until I saw those brown titties of yours."

*SLAP*

Sandy: "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have done that on national television."

Gus: "Are we quits now, you bi...Sandy?"

Gus: "'Cause if we are, I'd like to dance to their music now."

Tricia: "I need to be alert later."

Tricia: "Just look at yourself, Tricia...no, not now! I can't let myself be bogged down. I can't let myself down."

***

Quiz time.

Q1: Is the Mole male or female?

A: Male

B: Female

Q2: What is the Mole's natural hair colour?

A: Red

B: Black

C: Brown

D: Blonde

Q3: In Mission 1, what did the Mole say?

A: Seems like she's going through some sort of identity crisis

B: Too old to be playing

C: A total wreck

D: Schizoid. Lacks emotional capacity

E: I better stay away from him

F: Yet another bimbo

G: Too cocky for his own good

H: What's up with that hair?

I: She told me that she has no idea what she wants in life

J: That accent is sexy

Q4: In Mission 1, who gave their first impression of the Mole?

A: Roy Costello

B: Mallory Friends

C: Tricia Stein

D: Gus Espinez

E: Owen Front

F: Dorothy Channel

G: Miranda Calsberg

H: Wilson Richzker

I: Wilfred Melrose-Isetay

J: Sandy Shorres

Q5: Who is the Mole?

A: Roy Costello

B: Mallory Friends

C: Tricia Stein

D: Gus Espinez

E: Owen Front

F: Dorothy Channel

G: Miranda Calsberg

H: Wilson Richzker

I: Wilfred Melrose-Isetay

J: Sandy Shorres

***

It is time for the execution ceremony. One by one the contestants will be called down to the lobby, where they will find out if they are safe or executed.

"Miranda Calsberg. You are..."

"...safe!"

Miranda: "It would be such an embarrassment to be the first one called and the first one to go."

"Roy Costello..."

"...you are safe!"

Roy: "Phew. Worried for a sec."

"Mallory Friends."

"You are safe!"

Mallory: "Yes!"

"Wilfred Richzker."

Wilson: "It's Wilson. Why not just call me Jimmy, dammit."

"...you are safe!"

Wilson: "Knew I had it in me."

"Gus Espinez, you are..."

"...safe!"

Gus: "Booyeah! Suck it!"

Mallory: "Mind your language!"

"Wilfred Melrose-Isetay, you are not..."

"...safe. I'm sorry to say that you have been the first to be executed this season. Please pack your bags and leave."

Wilfred: "I would leave but the elevator is not letting me go."

Wilfred: "Let me leave with dignity!"

Wilfred: "Ow!"

Wilfred: "My dignity, to shreds."

Wilfred: "Well, it is an immense honour to have even be selected to take part, so I am very glad to have had this opportunity to meet these new faces and some old encounters, if I dare say so. I wish best of luck to all the remaining players."

Mallory: "Why must it be him? I wanted to form a coalition with him."

The curtains have been drawn on Wilfred Melrose-Isetay. Who will be next?

***

Here are each of the contestant's arrangements of suspects. Ideally, you shouldn't be looking at this as it could spoil the fun and mystery but I leave the choice up to you. This is purely for my reference.

Roy

1. Miranda Calsberg
2. Wilson Richzker
3. Owen Front
4. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
5. Dorothy Channel
6. Mallory Friends
7. Tricia Stein
8. Sandy Shorres
9. Gus Espinez

Mallory

1. Sandy Shorres
2. Owen Front
3. Dorothy Channel
4. Tricia Stein
5. Wilson Richzker
6. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
7. Gus Espinez
8. Roy Costello
9. Miranda Calsberg

Tricia

1. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
2. Owen Front
3. Dorothy Channel
4. Sandy Shorres
5. Gus Espinez
6. Roy Costello
7. Miranda Calsberg
8. Wilson Richzker
9. Mallory Friends

Gus

1. Dorothy Channel
2. Mallory Friends
3. Sandy Shorres
4. Owen Front
5. Tricia Stein
6. Wilson Richzker
7. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
8. Roy Costello
9. Miranda Calsberg

Owen

1. Mallory Friends
2. Gus Espinez
3. Wilson Richzker
4. Roy Costello
5. Miranda Calsberg
6. Dorothy Channel
7. Tricia Stein
8. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
9. Sandy Shorres

Dorothy

1. Owen Front
2. Wilson Richzker
3. Sandy Shorres
4. Tricia Stein
5. Gus Espinez
6. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
7. Mallory Friends
8. Miranda Calsberg
9. Roy Costello

Miranda

1. Mallory Friends
2. Dorothy Channel
3. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
4. Sandy Shorres
5. Gus Espinez
6. Owen Front
7. Tricia Stein
8. Wilson Richzker
9. Roy Costello

Wilson

1. Gus Espinez
2. Miranda Calsberg
3. Mallory Friends
4. Roy Costello
5. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
6. Sandy Shorres
7. Tricia Stein
8. Dorothy Channel
9. Owen Front

Wilfred

1. Owen Front
2. Wilson Richzker
3. Roy Costello
4. Tricia Stein
5. Mallory Friends
6. Dorothy Channel
7. Gus Espinez
8. Sandy Shorres
9. Miranda Calsberg

Sandy

1. Dorothy Channel
2. Tricia Stein
3. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
4. Miranda Calsberg
5. Mallory Friends
6. Gus Espinez
7. Owen Front
8. Wilson Richzker
9. Roy Costello

Overall:

1. Owen Front
2. Dorothy Channel
3. Mallory Friends
4. Wilson Richzker
4. Wilfred Melrose-Isetay
6. Sandy Shorres
6. Gus Espinez
8. Tricia Stein
9. Miranda Calsberg
10. Roy Costello