29.13-The real Fred Page

Last time on the Smole, the contestants had to play bingo by doing tasks that corresponded to a number. Joe managed to get a line so he earned three corrections, to which he used none. Cairo and Edward soon found themselves cornered and unable to get a single line, so 120/160 points were added to the pot, making it 650/1080 points. Paula and Cairo used a correction in the quiz and Paula got to know that she was fourth for that quiz. Does she know who the Mole is? Do you?

***

Fred: "Last night I accidentally shared my thoughts to Cairo, who was sleeping with me. He was very nice and caring. He listened to me and he convinced me that he was right. I am human. I am not a robot or a puppet. I should decide who I want to be, not anybody else. If they do not like it, then they are not worthy of being my fans. They can go find another celebrity. I just hope this does not affect our reputation as a idol group."

Brandon: "Fred, I have something to show you."

Brandon: "So, the other night I walked past your room and I couldn't help but overhear the ruckus you were making."

Brandon: "Let me show you what I mean."

"Do you, you know, want to?"

"Huh?"

"Woohoo!"

"I cannot let anybody know...my manager will scold."

"Let me turn off this camera and then we can do this in private."

"Do it...on the floor."

"I should not be shooting off so quickly."

"You got it all over yourself."

"I am hot and sexy.."

"I know you want more."

"I should be dominant for once."

"You can't keep this up forever."

Fred: "I did not say such a thing!"

Fred: "How did you get this recording clip?"

Brandon: "I will not betray my sources. Never knew you were into these kinds of things, Fred."

Fred: "I am not."

Brandon: "Want to hear it once more?"

Fred: "No!"

Fred: "What do you want?"

Fred: "Did you make this up?"

Fred: "You are trying to ruin me!"

Brandon: "What? No, I'm not that capable. It's only there because that's really what went on between you two."

Brandon: "Just admit it. There's no shame in that."

Fred: "I am not admitting to something I did not do or say. You are a liar."

Brandon: "Oh? Then maybe I should upload this online and let the whole world and your fans know the real Fred Page."

Fred: "No, please don't!"

Fred: "I am sorry. I did not mean to anger you. Please delete it."

Brandon: "Oh, I will, but only if you listen to me first."

Fred: "Anything! As long as you delete it."

Fred: "No, no, no! How could Brandon have done this? I cannot be involved in a scandal. My manager and fans will be mad! And my colleagues too. Our reputation will be lost and I will be kicked out. My career is ruined! He had a recording of me and Cairo's voices but we did not say anything like that or do anything immoral. Why is Brandon doing this to me?"

***

"It is time for your next mission. Hopefully you still remember your Chinese. You have to go around Shang Simla searching for cards with Chinese answers in 2 hours. After that, return back here. You will be asked a question. Choose the card that answers the question correctly. 5 points are earned for every correct answer but 5 points will be lost for every wrong answer. This is worth 200 points. Good luck."

Fred: "Why are you cleaning it up?"

Cairo: "Just because you don't mind and are lazy to doesn't mean I am the same."

Joe: "We chose to go in pairs again for this mission. It's almost a tradition. I think it wastes a lot of time though. If we split up we could have covered more ground. I suppose there's always the danger of a Mole lurking."

***

Joe: "This will take quite a while."

Edward: "I'm not even sure what we should be looking for."

Milan: "Do not sabotage."

Edward: "Interesting fountain."

Milan: "Am I allowed to open de boxes? But I do not want to."

Edward: "Wait, there's a card stuck down here."

Milan: "It appears dat my sforzo is not wasted."

Edward: "Wow, there are a lot of places where they can hide the cards."

Edward: "I don't even know how many there are here."

Milan: "Dere is someding stuck here."

***

Fred: "How convenient."

Savannah: "I'll look through all these books. They could have slid one in here if they're feeling evil."

***

Paula: "I found something here. Can't fool me."

Cairo: "I think they will hide something all the way up here."

Cairo: "This giant boulder is in the way. I don't think it's on the other side then."

Cairo: "I didn't think the producers would be cruel enough to hide the answer cards in books. I don't have the time or patience to flip through all of them."

***

Brandon: "It can't be here."

Joe: "You never know until you try."

Joe: "Any chances that it's hiding in the soil?"

Joe: "This will take a very long while."

Brandon: "Let's just go. It can't be here."

***

Milan: "Do not go so fast."

Cairo: "Is it possible it's in the ponds?"

Cairo: "Nah. The cards will get wet."

Paula: "I think there's something in there."

Paula: "A laminated card. For those foolish enough to not bother searching in water."

***

Savannah: "Hmm...my gut feeling tells me I should take a look at this one."

Savannah: "Let's see now..."

Fred: "There is something on the floor."

***

Milan: "Open de boxes."

Milan: "I will explore de tent."

Edward: "They're all shut tight."

***

Paula: "Stop strolling, King Kong."

Cairo: "I wish she stopped calling me that. It hurts my feelings."

Paula: "Oh, f***. One of them is in there."

Cairo: "Of course they'll hide one in the toilet."

Paula: "Gah, I can't get it out. It's burnt to crisps anyway."

***

Savannah: "Fred, I'll check the first floor. You go to the second."

Savannah: "Did you just fart?"

Fred: "...Yes. I am sorry."

Savannah: "It's fine."

Fred: "You are not mad?"

Savannah: "Why would I be? It's a natural process."

Savannah: "If I have to look through one more book..."

Fred: "Aha."

Fred: "Got another one."

***

Joe: "I hope they don't think we're disrespecting them."

Brandon: "Just go in."

Joe: "Hopefully we won't have to turn graves."

20 minutes later...

Brandon: "I've found one."

Joe: "So did I."

***

"Time is up! Joe and Brandon found two cards, Milan and Edward found four, Savannah and Fred found six and Paula and Cairo found 7. You have found a total of 19 cards."

Joe: "Somebody smells."

"I will now ask you 10 questions. Each card may or may not apply to more than one question, but if all questions are answered correctly, all your cards should be depleted by the end. Q1: In ancient times, there were four elements that one should possess to be refined and cultured. What are they?"

Paula: "We're doomed. I forgot everything."

Fred: "I studied a bit of this. I know art is very important."

Fred: "Do we have any relevant cards?"

Savannah: "Let me see...yes, we do! 画. This means drawing."

Savannah: "Everyone was looking to me like I knew all the answers. I don't. I know how to read and write and speak Chinese but I never learned their history or culture."

Milan: "Can anybody help me look at de cards we have?"

Edward: "I can't read Chinese."

Savannah: "I'll try to help."

Final answer:

”Question 2. Who are the 'Four Great Beauties'?"

Cairo: "They have such a thing?"

Paula: "I bet one of these two word things is a name. How about this one, with that face thingy and legs and a hole? Why not I just show you?"

Edward: "Are you sure? We have to be very careful with which cards we use."

Paula: "It looks like a bloody person with eyes and all. It has to be it."

Milan: "Fine. We shall listen to you."

Savannah: "I've read 'Romance of the Three Kingdoms'. I can confirm that Paula is right."

Brandon: "This card I found also has two words and looks like a face. I think we should use this too.

Milan: "Let us see what oder cards we have."

Paula: "Of course I am right."

Cairo: "Names can be three words too."

Fred: "Let me take a look at our cards again."

Fred: "I think this card looks familiar. Shall we just play it?"

Cairo: "Seriously?"

Fred: "I am quite sure it is a name."

Cairo: "Whatever. Let's just get it over and done with. It's not like we know what any of these cards mean anyway."

Final answer:

"What are the Greatest Inventions of China?"

Paula: "What is up with all this?"

Fred: "I think that every question has four answers."

Cairo: "I just want this to be over. How about this one?"

Savannah: "No. That says China."

Cairo: "Well, maybe China invented itself?"

Edward: "I think that is for another question."

Brandon: "How about we all just agree to forfeit this mission?"

Edward: "And let our hard work go to waste?"

Brandon: "Fine, at least this question. None of these cards make any sense."

Joe: "I agree with Brandon. It is best we play the cards only if we are very certain."

Final answer:

None

"Question 4. What are the Four Great Classical Chinese Novels?"

Fred: "See? Everything is about 4."

Savannah: "I recognise one of these books. I've read it before. It's 'Romance of the Three Kingdoms'."

Fred: "Can we be sure that it is the greatest novel however?"

Savannah: "I guess you all have to trust me. It is famous enough to be translated into Simlish and quite well known outside of China, so I suppose it must be it."

Brandon: "I don't read, much less Chinese books."

Joe: "So we only have one answer then?"

Edward: "Wait. I remember in the first mission, I picked up a picture book. I think this one was the title."

Milan: "It is a picture book. How can it be the greatest?"

Savannah: "I think it's entirely possible. 'West Swim Chronicles'...it sounds plausible."

Edward: "Maybe it's so famous that they decided to create various versions of it?"

Final answer:

"Question 5. List as many Shang Simla residents as you can."

Joe: "I think that if we try to remember, we can."

Cairo: "Like that quiz that had a bunch of Chinese names. Maybe all the answers come from there."

Paula: "What if we wrongly used a card? Maybe one of those name cards belong to this question."

Brandon: "There can be overlaps, remember?"

Paula: "Shut up, Whitewashed Boy Toy. I know what you did."

Edward: "I think this card looks like a name."

Milan: "It does not look familiar. It may be for anoder question."

Brandon: "I recognise this one. Yuan Ziyi was my teacher. She's the one that talked super fast, remember Milan?"

Milan: "Hmm? Oh, you are right."

Savannah: "This one...it looks familiar. Pei Wei."

Fred: "I think he was my teacher but I am not sure."

Final answer:

"Question 6. List down as many ancient Chinese poets as you can."

Brandon: "Enough of this. Who cares about Chinese history anyway?"

Milan: "Expected from someone like you."

Brandon: "Excuse me?"

Edward: "Let's not fight."

Savannah: "Another name question. I don't know much but I do know that this guy, Li Bai, is very famous. I think he writes poetry."

Paula: "We can't refute anything you say, Armpit. You know the most."

Joe: "This must be some ancient history thing. I bet all the names are two words."

Cairo: "I think my father once said he admired some poet. I remember thinking that it was funny his name was Tofu."

Savannah: "Hmm...oh, Du Fu. Must be this one."

Brandon: "We're getting somewhere, at least."

Paula: "No thanks to you."

Brandon: "What did I ever do to you?"

Paula: "You know what you did, you white slut."

Joe: "Ooo..."

Fred: "How do you read this?"

Savannah: "Hong Chen. Hmm, sounds very poetic. Shall we go with this one?"

Edward: "We trust you, Savannah."

Final answer:

"Next question. List down as many continents as you can."

Milan: "Finally."

Brandon: "We still have to choose from this nonsense, right?"

Edward: "What's a continent."

Milan: "Bless you."

Savannah: "All words that end with 'zhou' mean continent. So, we have Asia. I think this is Europe? I'm a bit rusty."

Joe: "I have one here that ends with what you said it is. Let's use this one."

Savannah: "I thought that's a city."

Joe: "Now you're just contradicting yourself. This has to be it. You said it yourself."

Savannah: "I guess you're right."

Brandon: "I only remember Europe and Asia and Africa."

Fred: "There is still North and South America, and Australia and Antarctica."

Paula: "Who cares about Antarctica?"

Cairo: "I thought it was Oceania."

Fred: "I learned Australia. Oh, there is one card that ends similarly hiding down here."

Cairo: "We have four answers? At last."

Final answer:

Savannah: "I was pretty sure Hangzhou was a city. I work in a tourist agency after all. But I couldn't find any other cards that fit so maybe I got it mixed up. It could be Antarctica. I don't know what that's called in Chinese."

"List down as many countries as you can."

Edward: "So much geography."

Milan: "Savannah, what word should we see?"

Savannah: "This is less strict but if you see erm...this word, 'guo', it's likely to be correct. Guo means country."

Joe: "There are only 3 cards left."

Paula: "Let's just put all 3 down. The worst we get is a penalty."

Joe: "Easy for you to say."

Paula: "You all are useless and annoying. I don't want to hear Idiotic Methhead and Whitewashed Boy Toy speak. I bet they're in cahoots."

Brandon: "Fine."

Joe: "Fine."

Final answer:

"Question 9. List down as many Chinese cities as you can."

Edward: "We only have one card left. Is it right, Savannah?"

Savannah: "This is Beijing, so yes."

Edward: "Then that's our final answer then."

Milan: "Patetico."

Final answer:

"Last question. List down the countries that border China."

Paula: "We don't have any cards left."

Fred: "Is it possible that one of the earlier cards was for this question?"

Cairo: "There's no use doing anything now. Hurry up and announce our result. I'm bracing myself for it."

"Altogether, you gave 16 correct answers and 3 wrong answers. You have earned a grand amount of 65/200 points for this mission, leaving the pot with 715/1280 points. The Mole must be laughing right now."

***

Here are all the answers.

Q1: In ancient times, there were four elements that one should possess to be refined and cultured. What are they?

琴,棋,书,画

(Specifically, they refer to the guzheng, weiqi, calligraphy and drawing)

Q2: Who are the "Four Great Beauties"?

貂蝉，王昭君，西施，杨贵妃

(Diao Chan, Wang Zhao Jun, Xi Shi, Yang Gui Fei)

Q3: What are the Greatest Inventions of China?

造纸术、印刷术、指南针、火药

(Papermaking, printing, compass, gunpowder)

Q4: What are the Four Great Classical Chinese Novels?

红楼梦，西游记，水浒传，三国演义

(Dream of the Red Chamber, Journey to the West,  Water Margin, Romance of the Three Kingdoms)

Q5: List as many Shang Simla residents as you can.

裴伟，陆建男，袁子怡，洪晨

(Pei Wei, Lu Jiannan, Yuan Ziyi, Hong Chen)

Q6: List down as many ancient Chinese poets as you can.

屈原，李白，杜甫, 白居易

(Qu Yuan, Li Bai, Du Fu, Bai Juyi)

Q7: List down as many continents as you can.

亚洲，非洲，欧洲，美洲

(Asia, Africa, Europe, the Americas)

Q8: List down as many countries as you can.

美国，中国，西班牙，巴西 + all those in Q10

(USA, China, Spain, Brazil)

Q9: List down as many Chinese cities as you can.

上海，深圳，北京，杭州

(Shanghai, Shenzhen, Beijing, Hangzhou)

Q10: List down the countries that border China.

俄罗斯，缅甸，北韩，蒙古

(Russia, Myanmar, North Korea, Mongolia)

Red cards are cards they used incorrectly for another question.