37.01-Meet your new friend

Mika: "Ugh...ugh...UGGHH! Her...her...her..."

Director: "And cut!"

Director: "Good take everyone. Now cover yourselves up. If I see that ugly taint for one more second..."

Mika: "Between you and me, that was pretty bland. I had to fake it."

Mika: "I need some more spice in my life. Something...different. Something thrilling."

Cameraman: "I think I have just the prospect for you. I also work on a set for this reality show..."

Mika: "I know where this is headed. What makes you think that after so many seasons, there will be anything new to offer?"

Camerman: "Because of the cast. Join the Smole, and this season will really be exciting."

*

*

*

Gigi: "Have a taste of life. Have a taste of Energezzo."

Gnger: "And that's a wrap! You're a natural, Gigi."

Gigi: "You flatter me."

Ginger: "Seriously, you're so photogenic. A hidden beauty."

Gigi: "Only because I have such an awesome sista to capture my good side."

Ginger: "But gal, look at you!"



Gigi: "Look at you too! You're just as pretty as I am."
Ginger: "You're a hidden gem, legit. The whole world needs to see your face."

Ginger: "And I think I know just the way. Join the Smole! You'll become famous. Do it for me?"

Gigi: "I'll consider I guess."

*

*

*

Daphne: "Have a look."

Cindy: "Mm, not bad. And that's why I agreed to help you this time even though there's no business to be made this time around."

Daphne: "The Irony of Innocence. That's what I'll call it. I hope that I'll win this competition."

Cindy: "Speaking of competitions, the Smole is planning for a 37th season."

Daphne: "I'm not going to be a camerawoman. That's betraying my ideals."

Cindy: "What? I'm not suggesting you betray your artistic integrity and go around filming everyone. I'm saying you be in front of the camera for a change. I think you have a shot at winning."

Daphne: "I know I do."

*

*

*

Giovanni: "So come join today. Yes, I think that's good. You know, I worked so hard to write the script, I deserve to try and join as well. That's what I'm going to do. I can promote some social causes too."

*

*

*

Vanessa: "Ooh, an ad for the Smole."

Vanessa: "Do you want to join?"

Shane: "What? No, no...I'm not good at this."

Vanessa: "But you love the show."

Shane: "Only because you love it too,"

Shane: "I...I just can't. I'm no good. It's too stressful. It's easier figuring things out and enjoying the show when you're watching it as a third party."

Shane: "How about you join? I think you'll fare better."

Vanessa: "Me? Are you sure?"

Shane: "Yes. You go for the both of us...if you want to, that is. I don't want to force you."

Vanessa: "Silly man. Of course I'm glad to join for us both."

*

*

*

PrincessKitKatya: "Only bigots will have such self-entitled self-righteous views THEjediwarrior."

Mitchell: "Only bigots will turn blind to the truth, PrincessKitKatya. Love is just a commercial concept."

PrincessKitKatya: "U're just jealous. Stop being such a keyboard warrior."

Mitchell: "I'm not arguing with someone who can't even spell 'you're' correctly."

Wienerlove90: "Now u just attacking my grammar cos u cant win, loser."

Mitchell: "How do I persuade such a disillusioned retard? Anything will be better than talking to her right now."

Mitchell: "What is this? An ad for the Smole? It's starting again? Hmm...I did say anything was better than arguing with her."

*

*

*

Scott: "Yo guys, what's up?"

Francine: "Scott, you're just in time. We were just talking about the upcoming season of the Smole."

Scott: "There's a new season?"
Jaycee: "You're kidding, right?"
Francine: "He must be."

Albert: "You didn't hear? They've been aggressively advertising for fresh blood."

Jaycee: "Ew, Albert. Don't talk like a creep."

Francine: "Ignore them. I've already submitted my app. They'll surely accept me."

Jaycee: "Nuh-uh. I'm still thinking of the perfect bio."

Scott: "If you're thinking that hard there's probably nothing to write about yourself."

Jaycee: "Hey!"

Albert: "Anyway, Scott, you gonna do it too or what?"

Francine: "Do it! The more of us sign up, the higher the chances of at least one of us making it onto the show."

Scott: "I guess it won't hurt."

*

*

*

Andy: "Woo! Ack!"

Andy: "WooOOoah."


Andy: "What was that thing that blew in my face?"



Andy: "And where did it go?"

Andy: "What's this? An ad for the Smole?"

*

*

*

Denise: "Sure, why not?"

*

*

*

Mervyn: "I...burp! A line! I need to wry sumwing onnit...burp! And done!"

*

*

*

"Welcome to the 37th season of the Smole. We had an overwhelming response, so consider you ten the lucky ones to make it onto this season. Players like you on the Smole must earn points for the pot via missions. 1 point is worth 100 Simoleons."

"But as you all know, someone here is the Mole. The saboteur who will try his or her best to keep points out of the pot. Whatever is not in the pot goes to the Mole."

"The rest of you must find out who the Mole is. After every mission, you have to take a quiz on the identity of the Mole. Whoever does the poorest will be the Mole's victim. This continues until there are only three left, whereby one last quiz will take place before winner takes all, loser goes home and Mole is exposed."

"This season, you'll be travelling the world. We have to keep you on your toes, and what better way to start than to do it literally?"

"But if you think that's this season's twist, you're wrong. This season, each of you have also been given someone else's secret-something that may add to their suspicion--and another one's alibi-something that could point to their innocence. Or not, of course. You're free to do whatever you want with it. Share it, forget about it, the choice is yours. But choose wisely. This information could be useful."

"Anyone who's having second thoughts can leave right now. Otherwise,

"WELCOME TO THE SMOLE, SEASON 37!"

********

DAY 1

********

Mervyn: "So, I don't know how I ended up here. I asked production and they said I filled up an application form and even signed it, which I don't remember doing. But they have proof, and I didn't really want to make a spectacle or be that guy who got a spot on this coveted show and didn't treasure it, so I decided to stay on and just see what happens....hopefully I wasn't stupid in making that decision."

Mervyn: "Oh! Sorry, sorry. I wasn't looking."

Andy: "Where are you rushing off to?"

Mervyn: "Er..."

Andy: "Are you so pressed for time that we can't even introduce ourselves? I'm Andy."

Mervyn: "I'm...er, Mervyn."

Mika: "He's actually pretty decent."

Gigi: "I'm sure he has a nice personality. Don't be so shallow. Look inside him."

Mika: "As if you're not interested in outward appearances. Or do you mean something else when you want to 'look inside him', hm?"
Vanessa: "The only man I'm interested in is my fiancee Shane. I want to take one last look at his picture before surrendering my phone."

Scott: "Hey ladies. Name's Scott Trevorton. What are you talking about?"

Mika: "Gigi here is admiring Andy."

Gigi: "Am not!"

Mika: "...Personality. Admiring Andy's personality. Or was I thinking too much?"

Gigi: "You know what? I'll just go over and talk to him. He seems like a chill guy."

Mika: "She's got guts, that's for sure."

Scott: "It's only the first day and Andy is already making an impression on all of us. I'm used to being the popular one...or at least the one throwing all the parties."

Denise: "I have Mitchell's secret and Daphne's alibi. It's not a big deal for me to share them with the whole world and whoever wants them. The world will be a happier place and everyone will be more trusting if we don't keep all these secrets. Anyway, Mitchell's secret reads: What is love? Mitchell doesn't understand the concept. Perhaps he lacks a heart...perfect. Just what the Mole needs. Daphne's alibi is: Daphne's work is all about capturing the moment and recording it. Hard to not leave traces behind when your job requires you to drop a few crumbs, eh?"

*

*

*

"Gigi, meet your new friend: Polly the Parrot. Take good care of her; she will be vital to your very first mission. You will be given a question to spread to the other contestants via parrot. Your first 100 points will only be earned if the last contestant gets the right answer. You may only tell the parrot the message once. Good luck. Your message is: What is 2+8?"

Gigi: "2+8...got it. Polly, repeat after me."

Polly: "Repeat after me! Repeat after me! Squak!"

Gigi: "No, no, you silly girl. Repeat this: What is 2+8?"

Gigi: "Now fly, my beautiful feathered friend!"

Gigi: "I hope I was clear enough. I enunciated pretty slowly."

*

*

*

"Giovanni, Polly the Parrot will tell you something. You must provide an answer to the question first, then add: x2."

Giovanni: "Ah, the winged creature descends...I bet all of you are thinking I'm weird right now."

Giovanni: "Come, what's the news?"

Polly: "What's the news? What's the news? Squak!"

Giovanni: "I hope you didn't forget what the message was."

Polly: "What is 2+8? Squak!"

Giovanni: "Easy. 2+8 is 10. 10 x2 is 20. Polly, tell the next one: What is 10 X 2 =?"

Vanessa: "Polly! Over here!"

Polly: "Squak! What is 10x2 =? Squak!"

Vanessa: "Hmm...that is 20. I must now add 7 to the equation. Polly, what is 20+7?"

Vanessa: "Now go."

Polly: "What is 20+7?"

Scott: "27. Divide 9, but if I follow the rules of arithmetic it should be 7 divided by 9 first, then 20 is added to it, is it not? But that's not a nice whole number. And perhaps someone earlier in the chain didn't follow this...so we are screwed."

Scott: "I'll just follow what makes the most sense at this point. I don't want to be blamed for any mishaps. Polly, say this: 27/9=?"

*

*

*

Mervyn: "I hope she's a good girl. Oh, there she is."

Polly: "27/9=? Squak!"

Mervyn: "Eep! Don't suddenly shout at the end."

Polly: "Squak!"

Mervyn: "Stop that! I just told you not to!"

Mervyn: "Oh crap, I forgot the question....I think I heard 27/9, so that is 3. 3-1. Polly, erm...3-1."

*

*

*

Polly: "Squak! Erm...3-1."

Daphne: "Someone doesn't sound confident. 3-1 is 2. 2 + 6 is what I must convey. Polly, what does 2 and 6 equate to?"


*
*
*

Denise: "Spread your wisdom, dear Polly. Espouse!"

Polly: "What does 2 and 6 equate to squak!"

Denise: "The answer to that is...unfortunately much lesser than 42. Subtract 2 from 8 and what do you get?"

*
*
*


Polly: "Subtract 2 from 8 and what do you squak!"
Andy: "Heh. That's 6. 6 divided by 3 is?"

*
*
*



Polly: "6 divided by 3 is?"
Mika: "Easy. That is 2. 2 x 17 is?"

*
*
*

Polly: "2 times -squak!-17 is? Squak!"


Mitchell: "What? I didn't quite catch that."


Mitchell: "I heard 2 x something-ty. 30 was it? 2x30 is 60. My final answer is 60."



"Unfortunately, that is incorrect. The correct answer is 34."
Mitchell: "WHAAT?"


Mitchell: "There's a big difference. I bet someone screwed up somewhere."


That concludes the first day in Appaloosa Plains. 0/100 points have been earned. Is Mitchell at fault? Or Polly? Or is someone else the culprit?